Why I Choose To Be Single

Why I Choose To Be Single

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring”
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We live in a world where relationships consume us. Everywhere we look we see pictures of happy couples. We see them at restaurants, walking on the street, while scrolling through social media. The world wants us to be in a relationship, but I don't wanna be. And that okay. I like being single!

I can be free.

I’m not locked down to one person. I can do what I wanna do, I can be who I wanna be. I can hang out with my friends and not have to worry about who cares. I can be myself completely and not have to worry about things. I don't have to be locked down, or make sure I call/send a text every night. I don’t have ties holding me down.

I can be myself.

I don't have to worry about “being to wild” or “looking to young”. I can wear whatever I want and do whatever I want. I don’t have to watch what I do so I’m not “annoying”. I don't have to go to my boyfriends house and “be on my best behavior”. I can simply go out with my best friend and do all the wild and crazy things I normally do.

I don't have to check in.

When I'm single I don't have to check in with anyone. I don't have to tell anyone I’m going out with my guy friends, or when I’ll be home. I don't have to constantly feel like I need to text someone throughout the day.

I don't have to plan time.

I don’t have to make time a couple times a week to hang out. I don’t have to plan ahead. I can go over a week without hanging out with someone and not feel bad about it. I can shoot a text moments before I want to hang out and it be okay.

I can flirt.

This might sound bad but I can flirt with whoever I want and not feel bad. Naturally I am a flirty person, and I can’t help that. When I’m in a relationship, I have to try and hold this back. If I forget and come across flirty with someone, it usually causes a problem. Sometimes being flirty makes things more fun, you don’t have to worry about the commitment. You can simply meet a guy at a party, dance with him and then be on your way.

I can hang out with who I want.

I don't have to make sure I can hang out with someone. I can hang out with any guy I want, whenever I want. I can hang out with any friend group I want, and not worry about what my boyfriend thinks about who I hang out with. I can go out on a Friday night and not worry about who I’m going to see. If someone asks to dance I can say yes.

I can say I love you and it not send chills up my spine.

When you say I love you to friends it’s a different feeling than when you say “I love you” to your boyfriend. When you say I love you to your friends it means you will always be there for them, you will always support them and much more. But when you say “I love you” to a boyfriend you are saying you will always take care of them, and you want to be their forever. This forever part makes the chills run up my spine.

It allows you to find yourself, and become who you truly are.

When you are out of a relationship you begin to discover who you truly are. You don’t have someone to help define you. You truly discover yourself. You learn more about yourself, what makes you happy, what makes you sad. You learn some hobbies, you learn how to be a complete person without anyone. You learn to be strong and independent.

You don’t have to mess with jerks.

Yes this sounds bad but sometimes in life we meet people who are simply jerks. The guys that are only looking for a relationship, or a hook up are sometimes jerks. When you’re single you don’t have to worry about talking to some guy and them not liking something about you and being a complete jerk for no reason. Sometimes it’s fun to not have to deal with jerks.

It allows you to figure out what you do and don’t want in a relationship.

It allows you to set standard for yourself. It allows you to discover who you really want to date. What you really want out of a relationship. It allows you to figure out what you will and won’t tolerate. It allows you to figure it all out before jumping into something new. It allows you to get over the old habits of a past relationship, and set new standards for yourself.

I can spend the summer with my best friends.

I can spend the summer with the ones who have been their for me for a long time. I can have the pictures with them, and the stories with them for a lifetime. I can make the summer of a lifetime! The summer of good memories. Instead of the summer “you dated a douche”.

This article may seem very self conceited but after spending multiple years in and out of relationships, it’s time to focus on myself. It’s time to do what’s best for me. College is a time to figure out who you are and what you wanna do. You should figure who you are and where you wanna be before going into a relationship. Even when you are sure of who you are, you don't need a relationship to define that.

I know relationships are suppose to be fun and worth it! But when we think about it, they do hold us down. They hold us down in a good way, and they build us up. But they also change who we are. They teach us how to be with someone, how to truly care about someone. How to share our lives with someone. Relationships are an amazing thing that changes people’s lives for the better, but sometimes being single for a while is better for yourself. You don't need to be defined by who you are dating. You need to be defined by who you are.

Wait for the person that sparks a fire inside you. Someone that you can’t live without. Be friends first, best friends! Make sure this person is someone special. You can make them wait to date you. You don’t have jump into things.

“ Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”


Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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An Open Letter To My Boyfriend's Mom

A simple thank you is not enough.
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Your son and I have been dating a while now and I just wanted to thank you for everything.

Wow, where do I start? Ever since the day your son brought me into your home you have shown me nothing but kindness. I have not one negative thought about you and I am truly thankful for that. I first and foremost want to thank you for welcoming me with open arms. There are horror stories of mothers resenting their son's girlfriends and I am blessed there is no resentment or harsh feelings.

Thank you for treating me like one of your children, with so much love but knowing exactly when to tease me.

Thank you for sticking up for me when your son teases me, even though I know it’s all in good fun it's always comforting knowing you have someone by your side.

Thank you for raising a man who respects women and knows how to take responsibility of mistakes and not a boy who is immature and doesn’t take responsibility.

Thank you for always including me in family affairs, I may not be blood family but you do everything you can to make sure I feel like I am.

Thank you for letting me make memories with your family.

There is nothing I value more in this world then memories with friends and family and I am thankful you want and are willing to include me in yours. I have so much to thank you for my thoughts keep running together.

The most important thing I have to thank you for is for trusting me with your son. I know how precious and valuable he is and I won't break his heart. I will do everything I can to make him happy. This means more than you could ever imagine and I promise I will never break your trust.

The second most important thing I must thank you for is for accepting me for who I am. Never have you ever wished I looked like another girl or acted like another girl. You simply love and care for me and that’s all I could ever ask. Every person in this world is a unique different person and understanding that means a lot.

The third most important thing I must thank you is teaching me how to one day in the future treat a potential girlfriend that I may interact with as a mother. I am not a mother, but I one day plan to be. If I ever have a son it is because of how you treated me that I am able to be a humble loving mother to this new face that could one day walk into my door. How you have treated me has taught me how I should one day be in the future and I thank you for that.

This may seem all over the place but that’s how my brain gets when I try and thank you for everything you have done for me. It’s all so much and even the little things are so important so I promise my scattered thoughts are all with good intentions and not meant to bombard you. I just want to get the idea across to you that you are important and special to me and everything you do does not go unnoticed.

Sincerely,

Your Son’s Girlfriend

Cover Image Credit: Christian Images and Quotes

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We Spend So Much Time Talking About How Much Men Suck In 2019, That We Forget Girls Are Just As Bad

I always talk about how awful guys can be, but let's take a second to talk about how awful my own sex can be, too.

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In our culture, we tend to place all the blame on guys in most relationships by saying how "all men suck" but what about girls?

Girls can be just as bad.

I'm constantly saying how bad guys can be but yet I never stop to analyze things I've done that weren't okay or things my fellow female friends have done that was awful.

I'm not innocent either, I've done some terrible things to really nice guys in my life.

There was one man in my life that genuinely cared for me and wanted to date me but I didn't feel the same at all and lead him on. I honestly didn't think I was leading him on at first but the minute I realized it I tried to nicely let him down. To this day I feel awful about it because I hurt him the way many other guys in my life have hurt me.

I tend to defend my own gender a lot in conversations and I now understand that I really shouldn't. I've seen so many of my female friends treat great guys terribly and have ignored it for so long because I want to believe that females can't be that awful. I was wrong.

I've had some of my best guy friends get treated like absolute garbage by girls that wanted to just party and partake in the hookup culture rather than be with a great guy. I don't get it.

If you have a great man that you're attracted to and loves you unconditionally why would you want to throw it away to chase after boys that won't remember your name the next day?

I've had to keep secrets for friends before that ate me up inside. I had a friend who cheated on her boyfriend by kissing another man in front of me and kept it quiet.

It is NEVER okay to do that to someone, especially a guy that truly cares about you.

It is NOT OK to be on dating apps while dating someone. If you are dating someone, you're exclusive. There is no need to continue talking to men that obviously don't want to just be your friend. There is no good excuse and if you have to try and justify it to yourself, then it's probably not a good idea.

I honestly made myself believe that females didn't play the games men play with our hearts, but we can be just as bad if not worse than a lot of men.

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