Why I Choose To Be Single

Why I Choose To Be Single

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring”
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We live in a world where relationships consume us. Everywhere we look we see pictures of happy couples. We see them at restaurants, walking on the street, while scrolling through social media. The world wants us to be in a relationship, but I don't wanna be. And that okay. I like being single!

I can be free.

I’m not locked down to one person. I can do what I wanna do, I can be who I wanna be. I can hang out with my friends and not have to worry about who cares. I can be myself completely and not have to worry about things. I don't have to be locked down, or make sure I call/send a text every night. I don’t have ties holding me down.

I can be myself.

I don't have to worry about “being to wild” or “looking to young”. I can wear whatever I want and do whatever I want. I don’t have to watch what I do so I’m not “annoying”. I don't have to go to my boyfriends house and “be on my best behavior”. I can simply go out with my best friend and do all the wild and crazy things I normally do.

I don't have to check in.

When I'm single I don't have to check in with anyone. I don't have to tell anyone I’m going out with my guy friends, or when I’ll be home. I don't have to constantly feel like I need to text someone throughout the day.

I don't have to plan time.

I don’t have to make time a couple times a week to hang out. I don’t have to plan ahead. I can go over a week without hanging out with someone and not feel bad about it. I can shoot a text moments before I want to hang out and it be okay.

I can flirt.

This might sound bad but I can flirt with whoever I want and not feel bad. Naturally I am a flirty person, and I can’t help that. When I’m in a relationship, I have to try and hold this back. If I forget and come across flirty with someone, it usually causes a problem. Sometimes being flirty makes things more fun, you don’t have to worry about the commitment. You can simply meet a guy at a party, dance with him and then be on your way.

I can hang out with who I want.

I don't have to make sure I can hang out with someone. I can hang out with any guy I want, whenever I want. I can hang out with any friend group I want, and not worry about what my boyfriend thinks about who I hang out with. I can go out on a Friday night and not worry about who I’m going to see. If someone asks to dance I can say yes.

I can say I love you and it not send chills up my spine.

When you say I love you to friends it’s a different feeling than when you say “I love you” to your boyfriend. When you say I love you to your friends it means you will always be there for them, you will always support them and much more. But when you say “I love you” to a boyfriend you are saying you will always take care of them, and you want to be their forever. This forever part makes the chills run up my spine.

It allows you to find yourself, and become who you truly are.

When you are out of a relationship you begin to discover who you truly are. You don’t have someone to help define you. You truly discover yourself. You learn more about yourself, what makes you happy, what makes you sad. You learn some hobbies, you learn how to be a complete person without anyone. You learn to be strong and independent.

You don’t have to mess with jerks.

Yes this sounds bad but sometimes in life we meet people who are simply jerks. The guys that are only looking for a relationship, or a hook up are sometimes jerks. When you’re single you don’t have to worry about talking to some guy and them not liking something about you and being a complete jerk for no reason. Sometimes it’s fun to not have to deal with jerks.

It allows you to figure out what you do and don’t want in a relationship.

It allows you to set standard for yourself. It allows you to discover who you really want to date. What you really want out of a relationship. It allows you to figure out what you will and won’t tolerate. It allows you to figure it all out before jumping into something new. It allows you to get over the old habits of a past relationship, and set new standards for yourself.

I can spend the summer with my best friends.

I can spend the summer with the ones who have been their for me for a long time. I can have the pictures with them, and the stories with them for a lifetime. I can make the summer of a lifetime! The summer of good memories. Instead of the summer “you dated a douche”.

This article may seem very self conceited but after spending multiple years in and out of relationships, it’s time to focus on myself. It’s time to do what’s best for me. College is a time to figure out who you are and what you wanna do. You should figure who you are and where you wanna be before going into a relationship. Even when you are sure of who you are, you don't need a relationship to define that.

I know relationships are suppose to be fun and worth it! But when we think about it, they do hold us down. They hold us down in a good way, and they build us up. But they also change who we are. They teach us how to be with someone, how to truly care about someone. How to share our lives with someone. Relationships are an amazing thing that changes people’s lives for the better, but sometimes being single for a while is better for yourself. You don't need to be defined by who you are dating. You need to be defined by who you are.

Wait for the person that sparks a fire inside you. Someone that you can’t live without. Be friends first, best friends! Make sure this person is someone special. You can make them wait to date you. You don’t have jump into things.

“ Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”


Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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Christian Boys Vs. Godly Men

It is time to stop settling for the lesser of the two.
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Ladies, there is a huge difference between a Christian boy and a Godly man; therefore, it is time to stop settling for the lesser of the two.

So many times I hear girls saying:

“Well, he’s a Christian.”

“He goes to church with me.”

“He listens to Christian music.”

“He went to church camp.”

“He has a favorite bible verse.”

SEE ALSO: What An Attractive Man Looks Like

Well, all of those things are just peachy and there is nothing wrong with doing those things. I mean, they’re all good things to do. But how is his personal relationship with God? How is his prayer life? Does he talk about his relationship with God, with you? Is he truly a follower of the one true God in all aspects of his life? These are some of the characteristics you should be looking for that makes a Godly man.

Ladies, a man will love you great when he loves God greater.

A Godly man will pursue an honest relationship with you. He will be clear of his intentions. A Godly man will worship, pray and passionately praise God with you. Whereas, a Christian boy might open the door for you, a Godly man will open his bible and explore God’s word with you so that you both may grow spiritually, together. While a Christian boy may put on an outward show, a Godly man will live out the love of Jesus daily.

So ladies, are you catching on to this ongoing trend? A Godly man does more because you deserve more.

A Godly man will be a leader. Trust me, I know that in today’s society Godly men are few and far between while Christian boys come in plenty. But you deserve a man who is after God’s heart not just a boy who goes to church. And I know that this Christian boy may seem great and have some really stellar qualities at the time but money and looks fade, whereas, an ongoing love for our savior will not.

The greatest thing a man can do for a woman is to lead her closer to God than himself. (Yes, yes, yes).

SEE ALSO: As Christians, Life Isn't Supposed To Be Hard

So I beg of you, do not settle. Do not settle just because you’re tired of being single, it’s convenient or because you want the relationship your friend has. Single does not equal available and a relationship status does not define you. God uses your season of singleness to prepare you for what is to come. And if you’re dating a Christian boy, he needs to step it up or you need to move on. Wait for a Godly man who is ready to lead you. God’s timing is always better, always. No matter the circumstance. So, do not rush God. (I mean, He is, after all, pretty good at His job). Therefore, turn your full focus to Him and He will direct your path.

“But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33

Cover Image Credit: Christina Sharp

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4 Signs That You Might Be A Pushover In Your Relationship

There's a fine line between being considerate and overly-accommodating in a relationship, here are some signs to help you determine which side of the line you're on.

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While most of us consider ourselves independent individuals who are secure enough to maintain our own values while respecting someone else's, the difference between being flexible and completely bending to a romantic partner's will can be a slippery slope.

Just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean that everything the two of you disagree on suddenly disappears. There are times when you'll have to occasionally make concessions in order to reach a solution, but you should never be the one to relent every on every issue. If you're not sure about how you stand in your relationship here are few signs that you may be a dating pushover.

1. You let them set the pace of the relationship

It can be hard to know if things are moving at a normal speed, especially if you're new to relationships. If you feel like things are moving too quickly or like the two of you aren't on the same page and choose to ignore it because the other person is content with where you are, then you're not giving your own feelings enough consideration. A relationship is not just about one person's emotions, disregarding the ones you're unsure about to avoid making waves doesn't make you peacekeeper, it makes you a pushover.

2. Your lack of an opinion is replaced by theirs

It's okay not to have an opinion on every issue plaguing our society at the moment, but it's not okay to allow your partner to declare a stance for you. If you're having a conversation with friends and politics are being broached and your S/O prefaces their statement with "We think," -knowing darn well that you don't have anything to say about Trump's administration and they think he's the best thing since Netflix started streaming "Friends"- and you don't interject with your true feelings, then you've just let them know that their preferences are more important than yours.

3. You conform to the way they see you

People are multifaceted and complex beings. While Tinder may ask you to describe yourself by a handful of defining characteristics to better match you with a mate, you are more than just "quiet" and "indoorsy". If you find yourself with someone who reduces you to labels that complement them, chances are that the more you're around them the more you'll start to only identify yourself by those labels as well. When you conform to the 2-dimensional image that someone else has of you, you lose parts of your identity and become a social chameleon.

4. You alter your dreams to fit into theirs

It's exciting to picture your life with someone you care and are serious about. Of course, you have to make some configurations in order for things to work for the both of you, but there has to be an equal amount of compromise for it to be healthy. If you're working towards a degree that would open doors for you to meet new people and have new experiences but your S/O has dreams to get settled sooner rather than later and makes you feel like you're overreaching in your life, don't abandon your vision for something that would fit into theirs.

Being a pushover does not mean you're a weak person. I don't think anyone sets out with the intent to be a chameleon dater. Sometimes it happens gradually, two people start off in a relationship thinking that they're compatible and then one person grows more comfortable and their will and opinions turn out to be stronger than the other persons'. Other times, you just make a poor judgment call and try to make things work with someone that wasn't meant for you.

If you find yourself to be a pushover in your relationship and you're unhappy about it, you can change. Take some time to learn about yourself and figure out what you want and who you want to be. You can't choose someone who really loves you and values your mind if you don't know how you need to be loved and understood. Whether you need a to step away from the dating scene, have a conversation with your romantic partner or even take a break from them, understanding yourself will strengthen all of your relationships in the long run.

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