Why I Choose To Be Single

Why I Choose To Be Single

“Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring”
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We live in a world where relationships consume us. Everywhere we look we see pictures of happy couples. We see them at restaurants, walking on the street, while scrolling through social media. The world wants us to be in a relationship, but I don't wanna be. And that okay. I like being single!

I can be free.

I’m not locked down to one person. I can do what I wanna do, I can be who I wanna be. I can hang out with my friends and not have to worry about who cares. I can be myself completely and not have to worry about things. I don't have to be locked down, or make sure I call/send a text every night. I don’t have ties holding me down.

I can be myself.

I don't have to worry about “being to wild” or “looking to young”. I can wear whatever I want and do whatever I want. I don’t have to watch what I do so I’m not “annoying”. I don't have to go to my boyfriends house and “be on my best behavior”. I can simply go out with my best friend and do all the wild and crazy things I normally do.

I don't have to check in.

When I'm single I don't have to check in with anyone. I don't have to tell anyone I’m going out with my guy friends, or when I’ll be home. I don't have to constantly feel like I need to text someone throughout the day.

I don't have to plan time.

I don’t have to make time a couple times a week to hang out. I don’t have to plan ahead. I can go over a week without hanging out with someone and not feel bad about it. I can shoot a text moments before I want to hang out and it be okay.

I can flirt.

This might sound bad but I can flirt with whoever I want and not feel bad. Naturally I am a flirty person, and I can’t help that. When I’m in a relationship, I have to try and hold this back. If I forget and come across flirty with someone, it usually causes a problem. Sometimes being flirty makes things more fun, you don’t have to worry about the commitment. You can simply meet a guy at a party, dance with him and then be on your way.

I can hang out with who I want.

I don't have to make sure I can hang out with someone. I can hang out with any guy I want, whenever I want. I can hang out with any friend group I want, and not worry about what my boyfriend thinks about who I hang out with. I can go out on a Friday night and not worry about who I’m going to see. If someone asks to dance I can say yes.

I can say I love you and it not send chills up my spine.

When you say I love you to friends it’s a different feeling than when you say “I love you” to your boyfriend. When you say I love you to your friends it means you will always be there for them, you will always support them and much more. But when you say “I love you” to a boyfriend you are saying you will always take care of them, and you want to be their forever. This forever part makes the chills run up my spine.

It allows you to find yourself, and become who you truly are.

When you are out of a relationship you begin to discover who you truly are. You don’t have someone to help define you. You truly discover yourself. You learn more about yourself, what makes you happy, what makes you sad. You learn some hobbies, you learn how to be a complete person without anyone. You learn to be strong and independent.

You don’t have to mess with jerks.

Yes this sounds bad but sometimes in life we meet people who are simply jerks. The guys that are only looking for a relationship, or a hook up are sometimes jerks. When you’re single you don’t have to worry about talking to some guy and them not liking something about you and being a complete jerk for no reason. Sometimes it’s fun to not have to deal with jerks.

It allows you to figure out what you do and don’t want in a relationship.

It allows you to set standard for yourself. It allows you to discover who you really want to date. What you really want out of a relationship. It allows you to figure out what you will and won’t tolerate. It allows you to figure it all out before jumping into something new. It allows you to get over the old habits of a past relationship, and set new standards for yourself.

I can spend the summer with my best friends.

I can spend the summer with the ones who have been their for me for a long time. I can have the pictures with them, and the stories with them for a lifetime. I can make the summer of a lifetime! The summer of good memories. Instead of the summer “you dated a douche”.

This article may seem very self conceited but after spending multiple years in and out of relationships, it’s time to focus on myself. It’s time to do what’s best for me. College is a time to figure out who you are and what you wanna do. You should figure who you are and where you wanna be before going into a relationship. Even when you are sure of who you are, you don't need a relationship to define that.

I know relationships are suppose to be fun and worth it! But when we think about it, they do hold us down. They hold us down in a good way, and they build us up. But they also change who we are. They teach us how to be with someone, how to truly care about someone. How to share our lives with someone. Relationships are an amazing thing that changes people’s lives for the better, but sometimes being single for a while is better for yourself. You don't need to be defined by who you are dating. You need to be defined by who you are.

Wait for the person that sparks a fire inside you. Someone that you can’t live without. Be friends first, best friends! Make sure this person is someone special. You can make them wait to date you. You don’t have jump into things.

“ Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind.”


Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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To The Friend I Rarely See Anymore

I wish you nothing but the best.

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When we graduated high school, we thought it was the end for us. The distance would ruin us and we wouldn't be able to call ourselves friends. Thankfully, you were my rock for the first year of school. You were the one I turned to when the adjustment was hard or when I needed someone to talk to and just listen. We never lost our connection for a whole year. We proved that nothing could pull us apart no matter how far the distance, no matter the different schedules. We were still best friends.

Another summer came and we only got stronger. We went on countless beach trips, late night hangouts, and Starbucks runs. I didn't even think it was possible to be this much closer to you than we already were. If we weren't together, we would Snapchat or text to never stop the conversation.

Now summer ended, we didn't think twice about losing our connection this time. We had a bond stronger than anyone could fathom. We once again went our separate ways and kept our texting and Snapchat habits.

But something changed.

It must've been the comfort level of sophomore year. It must've been all the new friends we got. It must have been the boys who entered our lives. We don't speak anymore. I haven't seen you since winter break. I haven't texted you since New Year's Eve. Our connection, one that was once thought to be indestructible, came crumbling down with sophomore year. I am not going to lie, sophomore year was the best of my life, but I knew you were missing the whole time. It wasn't the same without you.

I'm not upset you chose to focus your time and life on your new boyfriend. I am happy for you. I am not upset you spend more time with your school friends. I am happy for you. I am not upset you don't text me anymore and killed our streak. I know you're living a happy life. And I am too.

We may have gone our separate ways like we never imagined, but I am happy you are finally happy. Don't forget for one second that I will always be here for you. I will still always answer your text. I will still always be your shoulder to cry on even when no one else is there for you. I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you're doing ok.

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