Buzzfeed having supplied another wasted couple of hours in my life, I noticed one of my “friends” on Facebook had shared an article with the overworked title “Chivalry is Dead”.

Now having come from a large family Italian/Irish style upbringing, nothing bothers me more than the excuse from (some of) the opposite sex that “Chivalry” is dead. The fact of the matter is that most guys know what to do in order to address respecting women in a social setting (holding doors, paying for dinner, etc.). However, popular culture has attempted to pervert the male/female relationship in the Greek community by perpetrating stereotypes across both genders.

Now I’m not saying that it is TFM and TSM’s fault, they provide great satirical writing that connects with college guys and girls everywhere, so cheers to y’all. Unfortunately, there seems be a lack of common sense amongst readers as to the difference between “satire” and “guide book to life”. Young guys, mostly freshman in my opinion, take the sometimes misogynistic and overbearing writing of TFM writers as a personal guideline to the way they need to act as Greek men. The truth, gentlemen, is that when you get on campus you will be joining or participating in institutions that had been founded hundreds of years before you came. Keeping this in mind, shouldn’t we as members of these historic organizations do everything to improve our image with our Greek Life counterparts? I know from experience that it is just as easy to have a good time, go out on the weekends, and interact with girls being a gentleman as it is a walking TFM bible. So instead of buying into the norms of today, let’s instead define ourselves as men instead of boys. Let’s hold doors, let’s actually listen to conversations, and remember all the little things that “chivalry” calls for. Most of all, let’s remember that the women of Greek Life are our intellectual and social peers, not trophies or objects to be gained. If we can do those things, maybe the argument about chivalry being dead can finally be put to rest.

Up until this point, I’ve written as if fraternity men are the only guilty party in this discussion. One of the main reasons that I hate this argument is because it often assumes exactly that, that there is a clear side that is in fault. Women and their expectations also play a big role in the way chivalry is defined. There’s a lot out there that describes the way a guy can treat a girl. Girls read these descriptions; they see characters on their favorite shows, and they expect us to be at that level all the time. They expect grand romances and attention that would take an army and Bill Gates bankroll to put together. So when to actually get Johnny nobody fraternity man, a guy whose idea of cool date is a (free) trip to Mount Sequoia, they immediately assume he didn’t treat them to the world. In order for chivalry to be alive and well, women need to learn to expect realistic things from us guys. Learn to appreciate the little things like holding doors, pulling chairs out, and other things. Also, don’t always think a guy wants to be with you because of these things, but just by the fact that he doesn’t want to distinguish who he’s “chivalrous” to. Realize that we are in college, we ball on a budget, and the little amount of time we give to you is precious, so if we do than that’s what chivalry is all about. Chivalry is sacrificing the little extra time we actually have for you all to be happy. If people start recognizing what chivalry is, they’ll realize when they look around that it is, in fact, alive and well.