It seems like one of those things that all girls strive toward. The goal is to be cool, chill, casual, low maintenance -- but does that just mean lacking all substance? Is chill just code for “airhead?" The expectation in a social situation is to chat about something meaningless, or masculine-like sports, or how drunk you were last night. The expectation is not to bring something new to the table, or actually have a real conversation with the person you're talking to. Bring up a subject like politics, culture, or the motivations behind the way people behave, and people become not only uncomfortable, they write you off as being high maintenance.
Another facet of the “chill girl" expectation is that if you smoke weed, have casual sex, and have somewhat mediocre grades, you have more value in terms of this culture. However, it seems that these priorities correspond to a lack of respect for oneself in terms of the real world. If smoking weed or having casual sex are requirements for fulfilling this “chill girl" label, does the label actually mean not caring about anything quite enough? Or trying to not care about anything quite enough?
Sure, casual sex and smoking weed aren't inherently bad, but when they are done in an attempt to create the persona of a “chill girl," they become a means to an end that ultimately may lead to a lack of self respect. If you try too hard to achieve this image by participating in the acts it's associated with, the worry is that instead of becoming a “chill girl," you will actually become a girl who is trying way too hard.
When you decide to strive toward the image, you not only forfeit your individuality, you succumb to yet another social role in terms of gender expectations. Talking about sports, weed, and other masculine topics is useful if it is for personal interest, but if done to impress a male you are talking to and influence his vision of you, you are giving up your claims to individuality and some degree of femininity. We are not trying to claim that it isn't feminine to discuss these topics or to be interested in them, but we are suggesting that if done solely for the goal of seeming “chill" to guys, these efforts are misplaced.
This piece is not designed to communicate a message of girl power; my intent is to challenge the idea of what a “chill girl" has come to mean in society. Can a chill girl wear Lilly Pulitzer, like to do her make up, or truly hate the taste of beer? In a word, yes. Being chill should not be an ultimatum or end in itself; it is also attainable through a number of different personality types and routes, not just in the stereotype.
“Chill" should mean knowing yourself, loving yourself, and accepting yourself no matter what the rest of your community thinks or what you are expected to be.
