I'm getting married in under a year, and five months into wedding planning, I can already feel the stress of it all. There are two different extremes on the spectrum of how many fucks a bride can give in terms of planning the big day, but if you care too much, you're obviously labeled a "bridezilla." But what if you just don't care that much at all? Isn't that supposed to be a bad thing, too? Many people think not. Some brides these days aim to be a "chill bride," which is basically a bride who doesn't care enough to put in any effort. This is a dangerous, unrealistic standard for brides-to-be and here's why.

I'm going to start off clarifying that I'm not saying that all brides should be over-the-top, nitpicky, obsessing so much that they make absolutely everyone miserable in the process. I'm also not saying that every gal who is super laid back when it comes to wedding planning is a bad person. But there's a huge difference between being naturally laid back and being a pushover – or being so lazy that you expect other people to make important decisions for you because you're just soooooo chill.

I get it. No one wants to be called a bridezilla.

Sometimes I feel guilty for getting visibly upset whenever it takes a long time to work out an important decision. But then I remember that planning a wedding is typically a huge deal that takes a lot of time and effort, and it's okay to get upset every once in a while. It's especially okay if you have a short engagement and you still want your wedding to look decent.

Sure, there are undoubtedly brides out there who can effortlessly plan a wedding on short notice, and there are undoubtedly brides who truly don't think that a wedding constitutes a "big day" and don't take part in making big decisions, but these brides are few and far between in the grand scheme of things.

Sometimes being "too chill" is a bad thing.

The fact of the matter is, weddings take time. They require the two people getting married to make big decisions about a color scheme, vows, outfits, food, and venues. Then there's a bunch of little things that add up to more big decisions: cake, flowers, centerpieces, songs, pictures. Even if you cut out a lot of the extravagance in favor of a low-key wedding, there are still a lot of decisions to be made. In most cases, being the "chill bride" isn't going to cut it.

Avoiding making the tough decisions in favor of not hurting anyone's feelings is just as annoying as nitpicking every hair on your bridal party's head. It's confusing. And by not making any decisions, it burdens everyone else by having to make choices that should be the responsibility of, you know, the people that are actually getting married.

There is no such thing as a bride who can effortlessly plan a wedding without making any decisions. The "chill bride" is a myth, and it's a dangerous myth that many brides are starting to feel like they have to live up to, lest they are called a "bridezilla."