It only took me 20 years to actually be able to say, "I finally get it, Mom and Dad." And, maybe you too will get it someday. So, here's something to immigrant parents from their children:

First of all, thank you. Economic, social, and personal sacrifices were made so readily by you, yet we cannot even imagine ever being in the same positions that you were in. But, you chose to suffer through so many hurdles to being a part of this country - for us, kids that you may have not even had yet. You wanted a better life for your future family; you were thinking ahead.

I wish we had the ability to think ahead. Then, we could understand why you were so insistent about us learning about Indian culture, even when we lived in a Caucasian-dominant area. We didn't understand why we didn't eat pasta every night for dinner, like our friends from school did. Don't get me wrong; we loved your food. But, we always wondered why our friends at school were so fascinated with Indian food. It made us stand out, at an age when every kid was trying to fit in. While our friends were talking about the latest Tom Cruise flick, we were still laughing over a Johnny Lever movie we had seen the previous weekend at home. Sure, we went to the movie theatre to watch American movies, but there was something about watching Bollywood movies with you that kept taking us back to them.

The worst fights happened during our teenage years. We were trying to branch out, cultivate an identity of our own. We didn't understand where we stood, what our values were. We were "too American" for you but "really diverse" for some of our friends. I wish I had thought ahead before fighting with you countless times about my identity and realized that you were just afraid of losing me.

Suddenly, watching Bollywood movies all weekend with you wasn't fun or cool enough. Suddenly, we wanted to do things that our friends did, even if they weren't as common in our culture or family. Suddenly, we were arguing about having our own identities and wanting to do things that "other American teenagers did" because those things were "normal." At some point, we hurt you. Usually, we didn't realize.

So, yes, I wish we had all looked ahead because now we know. As I am surrounded by thousands of students, I now know I have my own identity and am unique. Even though I was born here, I am not just "American." I now realize how infused your values are in my personality and everyday life. It makes me stand out, but now I appreciate that because in the real world, sometimes being different is what makes you noticeable and successful. Spending my childhood watching Bollywood movies taught me how to speak Hindi & created some warm family memories that I still think back on when I'm feeling stressed in college. Eating Indian food almost every day helped me be open to more cuisines around the world, and even taught me what actual seasoning was (and that the dining hall food was definitely not seasoned). I wish I had thought ahead and realized that knowing about another culture actually helped me connect with my peers more. I am definitely more aware of the struggles that immigrants and minorities face in this country than I was before.

But, just as we wish we could have thought ahead and realized the fights weren't worth it, we wish you could look back. Maybe, you could reflect on your first day here in this country. From that day on, you had embraced "American culture" in some way or other. You were persistent in staying true to your roots, but you learned how this country functioned and adapted. If you hadn't adapted, you wouldn't have been able to survive here for so long; you would have emotionally and mentally been defeated. You were constantly conflicted between your identity back home and your identity here. Look back, and realize that we are in the same position as you were in once upon a time. We don't know exactly what our identity is; it's actually just a mix of your values and so-called "American" values. But, you made it this far in a country where freedom is often praised, but the hardships to achieve it are often undermined. You let us adopt new values, even if family members back home couldn't understand them, and you let us do the things our friends were doing. So, in one way or another, you also went through similar struggles as us.

Most of all, you taught us that it was okay to not fit into one box of what everyone perceived you as. And, now we know; we understand we are a rich mix of multiple cultures and values, and that's perfectly okay. We finally get it. I hope that you can see yourselves in us: struggling to fit into one box, struggling to be like everyone else but also stand out, struggling to figure out exactly what we believe in. But, above all, I hope that when you look back, you also realize that just as you survived despite identity and cultural struggles, we will too - and we won't forget what you taught us in the process.