As kids, we were told that we can be anything in the world we wanted. Nothing can and will stop us. Our drawings were colorful, our imaginations were wild, and our dreams were endless. When I was young, I thought the world was so big. There was so much I didn't know about and so much to explore.
Every year, my parents would ask me what I wanted to be when I got older. I remember my first dream job was to be an astronaut. Then, it was the coolest job ever. Who didn't want to be an astronaut and go to space and float around in a white suit that made you look like a snowman? I eventually went to space camp, but that is a whole different story.
My list of dream jobs in order: astronaut, nurse, painter, musician, model, tour guide, singer, chef...then it started to change really frequently. As I got older, I started watching more TV shows and I would want to be what the main character was. For example, when I was watching Grey's Anatomy, I wanted to fix people's brains — a neurosurgeon. When I was watching CSI, I wanted to work in the forensics field. When I started watching Hell's Kitchen, I wanted to be a chef.
I had ridiculous reasons as to why I didn't want to be a nurse, or a painter, or a neurosurgeon. One of my aunts told me if I actually became a nurse, I would have to look at inner organs and that was a no-no for me. I learnt about how Van Gough cut off his own ear in the midst of his career, and I was really scared if I were to become a painter, I would cut off my own ear. Lastly, for a neurosurgeon, what if I accidentally kill my patient? I would not want to be the cause.
In hindsight, what did my parents mean when they asked me "What do you want to be when you're older?" I am starting to questions when is "older," what age qualifies as "old." Does "old" have to same connotations as "mature?" I'm 19 years old now, am I considered old? People still ask me what I would want to be or what I would like to do when I'm older, when will they stop asking me? Will it be when I actually get a job?
There are so many questions that are left unanswered and is it up to me to answer them? Or will someone else answer them for me? Maybe I will get to explore the world and see the countless opportunities and possibilities the world has to offer. I hope I will find out the answers soon.
