15 Dad Jokes That Are So Cheesy You Shouldn't Read Them If You're Lactose Intolerant
Start writing a post
Entertainment

15 Dad Jokes That Are So Cheesy You Shouldn't Read Them If You're Lactose Intolerant

Everyone needs a good laugh here and there.

Jenna Salemie
Oct 20, 2019
Missouri State University
263
15 Dad Jokes That Are So Cheesy You Shouldn't Read Them If You're Lactose Intolerant
NBC

Now, I am just going to start out by saying that 80 percent of these are awful jokes, sorry not sorry.

I guarantee that you will either laugh or roll your eyes though, so it's worth the read. Trust me. I have my boyfriend to thank for all these jokes, he tells me at least 5 a day. I can't complain though.

1. What do you do with epileptic lettuce?

Make a seizure salad.

2. How does a duck buy lipstick?

It just puts it on its bill.

3. Why was the poor guy selling yeast?

He wanted to raise some dough.

4. What do you do when you see a space man?

Park your car, man.

5. What do you call an alligator wearing a vest?

An investigator.

6. Why did the man throw his clock out the window?

He wanted to see time fly.

7. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?

He was feeling a little crummy.

8. When is the best time to visit your dentist?

Tooth hurt-y.

9. What do you call a cake that was made by a prostitute?

Hoe-made.

10. What do you call a horse that likes to move around a lot?

Unstable.

11. Why are astronomers good at organizing birthday parties?

Because they know how to planet.

12. What's the longest word in the English language?

"Smiles" because it has a mile between each 's'.

13. What did the janitor yell when he jumped out of the closet?

Supplies!

14. What did the police man say to his stomach?

"You're under avest!"

15. My life. :)

I hope you enjoyed these jokes and that you at least smiled once. If you did, my job here is done.

humor
Report this Content
Student Life

19 Lessons I'll Never Forget from Growing Up In a Small Town

There have been many lessons learned.

Siena College
10685
houses under green sky
Photo by Alev Takil on Unsplash

Small towns certainly have their pros and cons. Many people who grow up in small towns find themselves counting the days until they get to escape their roots and plant new ones in bigger, "better" places. And that's fine. I'd be lying if I said I hadn't thought those same thoughts before too. We all have, but they say it's important to remember where you came from. When I think about where I come from, I can't help having an overwhelming feeling of gratitude for my roots. Being from a small town has taught me so many important lessons that I will carry with me for the rest of my life.

Keep Reading...Show less
small towns
Relationships

Grateful Beyond Words: A Letter to My Inspiration

I have never been so thankful to know you.

University of New Haven
285985
​a woman sitting at a table having a coffee
nappy.co

I can't say "thank you" enough to express how grateful I am for you coming into my life. You have made such a huge impact on my life. I would not be the person I am today without you and I know that you will keep inspiring me to become an even better version of myself.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

Waitlisted for a College Class? Here's What to Do!

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Smith College
86274
college students waiting in a long line in the hallway
StableDiffusion

Course registration at college can be a big hassle and is almost never talked about. Classes you want to take fill up before you get a chance to register. You might change your mind about a class you want to take and must struggle to find another class to fit in the same time period. You also have to make sure no classes clash by time. Like I said, it's a big hassle.

This semester, I was waitlisted for two classes. Most people in this situation, especially first years, freak out because they don't know what to do. Here is what you should do when this happens.

Keep Reading...Show less
waitlisted
Swoon

Navigating the Talking Stage: 21 Essential Questions to Ask for Connection

It's mandatory to have these conversations.

National Writers Society
149015
a man and a woman sitting on the beach in front of the sunset

Whether you met your new love interest online, through mutual friends, or another way entirely, you'll definitely want to know what you're getting into. I mean, really, what's the point in entering a relationship with someone if you don't know whether or not you're compatible on a very basic level?

Consider these 21 questions to ask in the talking stage when getting to know that new guy or girl you just started talking to:

Keep Reading...Show less
single life
Lifestyle

Challah vs. Easter Bread: A Delicious Dilemma

Is there really such a difference in Challah bread or Easter Bread?

Marist College
52209
loaves of challah and easter bread stacked up aside each other, an abundance of food in baskets
StableDiffusion

Ever since I could remember, it was a treat to receive Easter Bread made by my grandmother. We would only have it once a year and the wait was excruciating. Now that my grandmother has gotten older, she has stopped baking a lot of her recipes that require a lot of hand usage--her traditional Italian baking means no machines. So for the past few years, I have missed enjoying my Easter Bread.

Keep Reading...Show less

Trending Topics

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments