The Cheerio Joke
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The Cheerio Joke

There is a slight chance you'll hate me after this.

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The Cheerio Joke

The Cheerio joke has severe side effects and should not be told unless the joke teller is able to remain serious and committed throughout the entire joke telling.

This joke can be used in many different occasions, whether you’re at the dinner table with your family who loved you before you told the joke, hanging out with a group of friends, or just shooting the sh*t with anyone and everyone. This joke will get you places…if your audience doesn’t kill you before you finish.

Have I have intrigued you as to what the joke is yet?

An additional warning, or a disclaimer if you will. If you choose to tell this joke to your family, then know that they will still accept you back in the house after you finish telling the joke. If you are telling the joke to some friends and they still remain friends with you afterwards, then you better keep those folks around. If you choose to take a risk and tell this joke to your significant other, then there is a good chance you might be single once the joke is finished.

You have to find the right audience for this joke and after you read it you’ll understand why. You have to hype the joke up. Your audience should know that this is the best joke you’ve heard in a really long time. Heck, you can even create a backstory to it if you want. For example, “Kathy was telling me this joke the other day when we were walking to Starbucks and I almost peed my pants it was so funny. Do you want to hear it?” This joke should be delivered orally. Instantly people are going to be engrossed in the joke you are about to tell. Hook, line, and sinker. Once you’ve got the audience prepared and you have your best joke teller face on you are ready to roll.

Remember you’ve been warned. Ready?

Once upon time in a land far, far away lived three Cheerio worlds: Perfect Cheerio World, Mediocre Cheerio World, and Non-perfect Cheerio World. Anybody who was anybody wanted to reside in Perfect Cheerio World, but unfortunately only the lucky few got the honor of living in Perfect Cheerio World. In Non-perfect Cheerio World there was a Cheerio named Joe. Non-perfect Cheerio Joe was a regular person just like you and me. Day in and day out though he wished for a better world to live in. He believed he deserved the chance to experience Perfect Cheerio World because he worked his Cheerio butt off 24/7.

One night when Non-perfect Cheerio Joe was on his way home from work, a Cheerio Genie visited him. The Cheerio Genie had noticed Non-perfect Cheerio Joe's constant dedication to his job, friends, and family and thought that he deserved a little loving himself. The Cheerio Genie allowed Non-perfect Cheerio Joe to have one wish. Non-perfect Cheerio Joe wished that he could go to Perfect Cheerio World for a day. The Cheerio Genie, being the good cheerio that he is, granted Non-perfect Cheerio Joe his wish.

Come Saturday morning after a long week at the office, Non-perfect Cheerio Joe awoke in a place unfamiliar to him. He knew immediately that he was in Perfect Cheerio World. A Perfect Cheerio soon approached him. Oh how Non-perfect Cheerio Joe was envious of this cheerio. He wasn’t cracked or broken and looked like he had taken a nice dip in Skim Milk. A world with Skim Milk? Non-perfect Cheerio Joe was jealous, that’s for sure. The Perfect Cheerio introduced himself and coincidentally his name was Joe as well. What are the odds?

Perfect Cheerio Joe started to tell Non-perfect Cheerio Joe about all the fun and exciting things that Perfect Cheerio World has to offer. Perfect Cheerio Joe offered to be Non-perfect Cheerio Joe’s tour guide for the day. “First things first,” Perfect Cheerio Joe said, “We must go get some breakfast!”

Perfect Cheerio Joe and Non-perfect Joe walked into a little café and went to the front of the line. The cashier politely told them that they had to wait at the back of the line. “Where’s that?” Non-perfect Cheerio Joe asked.

"Go five blocks down. Take three rights, and two lefts, and then six more rights. Then one more left and then you’ll reach the end of the line," said the cashier.

Perfect Cheerio Joe and Non-perfect Cheerio Joe obliged and waited on the long line to get their breakfast. Next, Perfect Cheerio Joe said that Non-perfect Cheerio Joe had to go to the National Cheerio Museum. Non-perfect Cheerio Joe loved museums so he happily agreed. When they arrived at the National Cheerio Museum, they first had to purchase tickets to see some exhibits. They walked up to the ticket booth where they were told to head to back of the line. “Where’s that?” Non-perfect Cheerio Joe asked.

"Go five blocks down. Take three rights, and two lefts, and then six more rights. Then one more left and then you’ll reach the end of the line."

Although the line was long, Non-perfect Cheerio Joe was ecstatic because he got to see the first Cheerio ever created. Perfect Cheerio Joe then recommended they go see a movie because Non-perfect Cheerio World doesn’t have any movie theaters. Non-perfect Cheerio Joe picked the movie, Unrequited Love for a Honey Nut Cheerio. Even Cheerios love romantic comedies. The movie theater was gorgeous and Non-perfect Cheerio Joe was so happy until they had to buy tickets for the movie and they had to go to the back of the line. “Where’s that?” Non-perfect Cheerio Joe asked.

"Go five blocks down. Take three rights, and two lefts, and then six more rights. Then one more left and then you’ll reach the end of the line."

Once they were in the movie theater, Non-perfect Cheerio Joe knew that he couldn’t have the full movie experience without popcorn. He quickly left the theater during the previews and went to buy some popcorn. He was told to head to the back of the line. These long lines were really starting to bother Non-perfect Cheerio Joe, but he knew he was only here for a day so he had to experience it all. “Where’s the back of the line?” Nonperfect Cheerio Joe asked.

"It wraps around the theater, so head south on Strawberry Street. Then make two rights. Next walk two blocks down and make a left onto Grain Road, then you’ll be at the end of the line."

Non-perfect Cheerio Joe hoped the popcorn would be worth it. Just as he sat down in his seat with his popcorn the movie was beginning. I know what luck! Damn previews. After the movie was finished, Perfect Cheerio Joe recommended going to a party so that Non-perfect Cheerio Joe could meet a bunch of Perfect Cheerios. Non-perfect Cheerio Joe loved all Cheerios so he was pumped! When they arrived outside of the party they had to wait in line to enter. Non-perfect Cheerio Joe was getting a wee bit frustrated when he asked where the end of the line was.

"Walk 1.37 miles. Then when you get to the fork in the road take a right. Then you need to make one right, one left, one right, and one left. After that you’ll be at the end of the line."

Although Non-perfect Cheerio Joe was exhausted by the time they got into the party he was still ready to dance the night away. Non-perfect Cheerio Joe and Perfect Cheerio Joe headed straight to the dance floor and boogied all night. Two hours in, Non-perfect Cheerio Joe got thirsty. Perfect Cheerio Joe mentioned that the punch at this place was the bomb dot com. Non-perfect Cheerio Joe decided that without punch he would probably pass out. After waiting all day on so many lines Non-perfect Cheerio Joe knew what to expect. He walked up to the Cheerio serving the punch and said, “Where’s the punch line?”

The server looked at him confused, “There is no punch line.”

The End

Badda bing, badda boom. See I didn’t lie, I told you that you might hate me. This joke is EPIC. You can make up where the Non-perfect Cheerio Joe and Perfect Cheerio Joe go, what they do, and the distances they travel! This joke could be an hour long or it could be three minutes long. It’s what you make of it!

If you want to brighten someone’s day, share this joke with him or her! It’s okay to be corny. Or, on the flip side, if you have a mortal enemy and want them to know what extreme disappoint feels like, share this joke with them! I swear you won’t regret it, or maybe you regret reading this whole thing. Maybe you’re wondering why you spent the last five minutes of your life writing down the amount of blocks the Cheerios traveled, or the number of turns they made just in case you needed to add them up at the end. Maybe you despise me immensely. Or maybe, just maybe, this joke caused the corners of your mouth to turn up into a smile and you chuckled. I’ll take a chuckle!

If you read all the way through the joke, then congratulations! Reward yourself with a pat on the back or an entire bowl of cheerios because you my friend, deserve it.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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