Escapism is defined as the tendency to seek distraction or relief from unpleasant realities, especially by seeking entertainment or engaging in fantasy.
Dear Escapist,
Escapism is the mind's, body's, soul's or what-have-you's way of protecting itself from going into overload. Just like a computer, people need to cool down or go into "power saving mode." People escape in a variety of ways and for a variety of reasons. After a bad day at work, it's not uncommon to escape by reading a good book, binge watching Netflix or playing video games. These are healthy ways of recovering from a day of hard work.
It becomes a problem when you get so caught up that you start losing track of days, skip school or work, disengage from friends and family or, otherwise, isolate yourself. Who's it hurting, right? So what you'd rather spend hours watching YouTube rather than working on that ten page paper that's due tomorrow? If it makes you happy, go for it. Life's too short to be unhappy, right?
Wrong. You're not living. You're dreaming. As you daydream, just like when you fall asleep, time seems to skip by and the last thing you remember is whatever you were doing right before you fell asleep. You didn't know that, while you were sleeping, days have passed, the corner store had a fire and your neighbor moved out. This level of escapism is like being imprisoned in your mind. Life moves on while you're none the wiser.
Start examining your life. What are you escaping from? Could you be depressed? Avoiding or refusing to acknowledge difficult emotions is easier in the short term but in the long run, it could cause a lot of physical and emotional damage. Imagine that you're a habitual liar. You're tasked with keeping up with every little detail, lest someone finds out what you did and worse, that you lied about it. It's taxing, right? So many details, so much thinking. Well, holding in emotions is like lying to yourself and sends mixed signals to your brain. It's like a heavy weight and until you drop that weight, every day tasks will become incredibly difficult and you're more likely to experience mood swings and depression.
You have to acknowledge and accept that hardships are a part of life. A friend of mine had a tendency to lock herself away and stew for days when things went wrong. She wouldn't talk to the people who loved her and she would tell herself that she NEEDED to feel that way. Can you imagine? She had a warped way of thinking that told her that in order to acknowledge her problem as a true problem, she had to give into it. But what she was really doing was giving it power and allowing it to rule her life. Don't get me wrong, sometimes, you need time to heal, but you also need to recognize when enough is enough. You have to remember that emotions are also a product of imbalances within the body. If you aren't eating right, exercising, getting sun or if you are taking certain medications, your emotions will let you know. You have to find a balance and that balance has to be your own. No one else can tell you when you're ready, you have to decide. Take small steps every day.
If you're feeling despondent because life hasn't turned out the way you thought it should, take a minute, indulge for a little while. Sulk if you need to, and, most importantly, get over it. Life doesn't owe you anything. You have to make life happen and you can't make life happen from under your covers. Everyone has to realize this at some point. You're not being punished by a higher power or fate or a former life, you're simply getting a double dose of reality.
Insanity is defined as doing the same thing over and over, and expecting a different result.
If you've been spinning your wheels for a long time, do something different. If you haven't been hired for those jobs with great benefits, great pay and great vacation time, don't be afraid to change your angle. Life is a work in progress and it requires creativity. If you're not prepared to change up when something doesn't work out, then you'll keep escaping and, as a result, you'll stay stuck.
Finally, get help if you need it. You can't hide forever and why would you want to? I know the world can be scary and depressing but you have to make a conscious decision to face it. It all starts with turning off the TV, unplugging the video game console, logging off of social media and getting out from under your covers. Don't hide from the world, because the world is so much better when everyone contributes. You may not know it, but you matter to the world and the world needs you. So, be an active participant in your life. You're the only one who can leave your personal mark on the world. Now, while you choke down these platitudes, good luck and remember that you are loved.
Signed,
Someone who's been there
