If You Spend Your Whole Life Chasing Happiness, You Might Never Find It

If You Spend Your Whole Life Chasing Happiness, You Might Never Find It

Happiness is a result of a life worth living; we can't chase the result and leave out the actions.

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Hello there! A self-proclaimed self-obsessor here, attempting to navigate my life without sinking my own ship.

The past year of my life has been a bit of a madhouse my wary wandering heart has been crawling through. Not crawling through in a negative way, per say, just neutrally, trying not to set off any traps or lose sight of something important. The novelty of college, newfound independence, blossoming and wilting relationships, and a medley of other life motifs have brought me to a single, stable position: my focus in life is on the wrong thing entirely. A comforting thought, right?

In all honesty, this reevaluation has been a long time coming. For years, I have set my sights on the future with a trembling hold on the present, reaching out for what could be mine and manhandling the people around me who I happen to decide on the spot could or could not help me conquer my goals. With the fiercest case of tunnel vision you've never seen, I have passed up on opportunities, forsaken friendships, and turned my life in the wrong direction all because of my own selfishness. A selfishness I couldn't see.

I have been chasing happiness.

Happiness is not a bad thing, not in the slightest. That's not what I mean at all. I would love to reach a point in my life where I find that despite the bad days and the heartache, despite the workload and the trials, I love where I am and what I'm doing. What I mean is that I've been ignoring the real world and fantasizing about what happiness could mean for me. My utterly impatient and imperfect mind has not been focused on the work that I can do with my life, what I'm capable of, the people around me, any of that. I have become obsessed with the idea of happiness and how it can serve me.

Happiness is a sensation, not a destination. It is unique to everyone and not something that can really be tangibly captured. Try as I might, I can't pin down the direct point in my life and say, "There. If I could do this or be that, if I could love this person or be friends with another, if I could make this much or experience this much, I would be happy." Too often lately I've found myself barely reacting in any given situation, so much so that my actions don't make a difference or an impact in the slightest. My excuse? What if what I'm doing interferes with my personal happiness? What if I can't meet this person and own my personal happiness? What if taking this chance ruins this and my personal happiness is lost forever?

I feed myself the thought that someday, I'll get to the point of having all the happiness in the world with the right job and the right relationship and the right path, attempting to skip the burden of the present. I tell myself that I'll be happier than I've ever been, that I'll be happier than any of the people who have ever hurt me or hated me, that I'll suddenly reach a year in my life where it's all downhill and smooth sailing.

But that's not living.

Telling myself I could be happy? What good could that ever do me? My life is happening in these moments right now, and at any point, I might not get any more. So instead of pining after days in the future that aren't even real, I need to make the choice to actively be content in the life with which I have been blessed. I need to be alive in the present, love the people around me, and stay grounded. God has me here for a reason, and that reason is not to wait around for happiness to strike. It is to glorify Him, be content, and stop chasing after some mystical happy feeling that I think, once reached, can solve my life's problems.

Happiness is a wonderful thing. But it's just a feeling, not my focus. If I work every day with all I have towards life worth living, then I'm more than happy with that.

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I'm A Woman And You Can't Convince Me Breastfeeding In Public Is OK In 2019

Sorry, not sorry.

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Lately, I have seen so many people going off on social media about how people shouldn't be upset with mothers breastfeeding in public. You know what? I disagree.

There's a huge difference between being modest while breastfeeding and just being straight up careless, trashy and disrespectful to those around you. Why don't you try popping out a boob without a baby attached to it and see how long it takes for you to get arrested for public indecency? Strange how that works, right?

So many people talking about it bring up the point of how we shouldn't "sexualize" breastfeeding and seeing a woman's breasts while doing so. Actually, all of these people are missing the point. It's not sexual, it's just purely immodest and disrespectful.

If you see a girl in a shirt cut too low, you call her a slut. If you see a celebrity post a nude photo, you call them immodest and a terrible role model. What makes you think that pulling out a breast in the middle of public is different, regardless of what you're doing with it?

If I'm eating in a restaurant, I would be disgusted if the person at the table next to me had their bare feet out while they were eating. It's just not appropriate. Neither is pulling out your breast for the entire general public to see.

Nobody asked you to put a blanket over your kid's head to feed them. Nobody asked you to go feed them in a dirty bathroom. But you don't need to basically be topless to feed your kid. Growing up, I watched my mom feed my younger siblings in public. She never shied away from it, but the way she did it was always tasteful and never drew attention. She would cover herself up while doing it. She would make sure that nothing inappropriate could be seen. She was lowkey about it.

Mindblowing, right? Wait, you can actually breastfeed in public and not have to show everyone what you're doing? What a revolutionary idea!

There is nothing wrong with feeding your baby. It's something you need to do, it's a part of life. But there is definitely something wrong with thinking it's fine to expose yourself to the entire world while doing it. Nobody wants to see it. Nobody cares if you're feeding your kid. Nobody cares if you're trying to make some sort of weird "feminist" statement by showing them your boobs.

Cover up. Be modest. Be mindful. Be respectful. Don't want to see my boobs? Good, I don't want to see yours either. Hard to believe, I know.

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A Farewell To Criminal Minds

Wheels up in 30

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In 2005 — when I was eight years old — a show that now in 2019 has impacted my life so greatly premiered. This show influenced me to take law classes and has greatly pushed me to want to explore the extremely complex human mind.

Each of the characters has taught me so much and made me question things, made me laugh and also definitely made me cry. As much as I love every character that has come and gone there is a core seven that I will always credit as my favorite members of the BAU (Behavioral Analysis Unit).

I consider the core seven to be made up of, Emily Prentiss who throughout the entire show has been undeniably strong and sacrificed so much for the sake of the team, Jennifer Jareu who has managed to raise a family and excel at her job all while not letting her self become numb to the job and still having emotions and being a good friend to the rest of the team, Derek Morgan who aside from being eye candy is also the guy you always would want by your side he will go any lengths for justice and to protect his loved ones. Spencer Reid who is always the smartest person in the room and is a prime example that age doesn't always determine how smart you can be or how mature you can be, David Rossi who is the warm-hearted very deep thinking member of the team who always gets everyone else back on track, Aaron Hotchner who the show is just not the same without he was a fearless leader and always made the right choices on the team's behalf. Finally, Penelope Garcia who brings this zany energy to the team and always looks on the upside of things.

Even though this show is ending it will always stay with me and will always be the show that can intrigue me to no end. If you haven't allowed yourself to enjoy this show, I'd recommend doing so immediately.

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