People Are Terrified Of Changing Their Toxic Behaviors, But They Shouldn't Be

People Are Terrified Of Changing Their Toxic Behaviors, But They Shouldn't Be

Change is a natural part of our existence, and we shouldn't be so scared of it.


Some people truly do not want to change. Maybe they're stuck in their ways, or they have some unresolved trauma. But becoming a better person and constantly improving ourselves is an important aspect of the human experience. Staying the same and NEVER working on ourselves truly isn't the answer.

We need to grow. We need to work on our flaws. We need to care about others in a deep and meaningful way.

However, many people don't seem to grasp that concept and think that they are always right in a situation. I'm guilty of this in certain situations, but I'm working on it. I'm trying to get better at seeing situations from other people's perspectives, instead of just my own. although, I've been in many situations where the other person has actively done something wrong; they refuse to admit it or even apologize. That's a total friendship-ender to me.

As human beings, we ALL make mistakes.

It's a simple rule of existing. That doesn't excuse not apologizing for sh*tty behavior. When someone does something wrong and they're confronted about it, they need to take accountability for their actions. I'm way more forgiving when someone actually owns up to what they've done and apologizes.

Apologies are an important part of being a human being. To err is to be human, after all. When I f*ck up, I try to understand how I made the other person feel and apologize for my actions. Saying an apology only counts if you actually MEAN it though! For example, one of my friends is continuing to be friends with the girl who almost killed me in a drunk driving accident (on my 21st BIRTHDAY) and actively chooses her over me. I explained how I felt to her and she apologized and promised to improve her behavior. Instead, she blatantly disregarded my feelings and brought her to a show that I had previously invited her to, and she told me she was busy. So I went alone and then had to be surprised by the two of them showing up together.

Why would I continue to be friends with someone who doesn't actually want to change her behavior or be accountable for her apology? Change is a natural part of our existence, and we shouldn't be so scared of it.

Cover Image Credit:

Ashley McMurray

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To All The Nurses In The Making

We tell ourselves that one day it'll all pay off, but will it actually?

I bet you’re taking a break from studying right now just to read this, aren’t you? Either at the library with friends or in your dorm room. Wherever you may be, you never get the chance to put your books down, at least that’s how it feels to most of us. It sucks feeling like you’ve chosen the hardest major in the world, especially when you see other students barely spending any time studying or doing school work. The exclamation “You’re still here!” is an all too frequent expression from fellow students after recognizing that you’ve spent 10-plus hours in the library. At first it didn’t seem so bad and you told yourself, “This isn’t so difficult, I can handle it,” but fast-forward a few months and you’re questioning if this is really what you want to do with your life.

You can’t keep track of the amount of mental breakdowns you’ve had, how much coffee you’ve consumed, or how many times you’ve called your mom to tell her that you’re dropping out. Nursing is no joke. Half the time it makes you want to go back and change your major, and the other half reminds you why you want to do this, and that is what gets you through it. The thing about being a nursing major is that despite all the difficult exams, labs and overwhelming hours of studying you do, you know that someday you might be the reason someone lives, and you can’t give up on that purpose. We all have our own reasons why we chose nursing -- everyone in your family is a nurse, it’s something you’ve always wanted to do, you’re good at it, or like me, you want to give back to what was given to you. Regardless of what your reasoning is, we all take the same classes, deal with the same professors, and we all have our moments.

I’ve found that groups of students in the same nursing program are like a big family who are unconditionally supportive of each other and offer advice when it’s needed the most. We think that every other college student around us has it so easy, but we know that is not necessarily true. Every major can prove difficult; we’re just a little harder on ourselves. Whenever you feel overwhelmed with your school work and you want to give up, give yourself a minute to imagine where you’ll be in five years -- somewhere in a hospital, taking vitals, and explaining to a patient that everything will be OK. Everything will be worth what we are going through to get to that exact moment.

Remember that the stress and worry about not getting at least a B+ on your anatomy exam is just a small blip of time in our journey; the hours and dedication suck, and it’s those moments that weed us out. Even our advisors tell us that it’s not easy, and they remind us to come up with a back-up plan. Well, I say that if you truly want to be a nurse one day, you must put in your dedication and hard work, study your ass off, stay organized, and you WILL become the nurse you’ve always wanted to be. Don’t let someone discourage you when they relent about how hard nursing is. Take it as motivation to show them that yeah, it is hard, but you know what, I made it through.

With everything you do, give 110 percent and never give up on yourself. If nursing is something that you can see yourself doing for the rest of your life, stick with it and remember the lives you will be impacting someday.

SEE ALSO: Why Nursing School Is Different Than Any Other Major

Cover Image Credit: Kaylee O'Neal

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Weight Lifting Improved My Self Confidence

We all have our fitness goals that we'd like to achieve to gain that self-confidence that'll make us proud of ourselves. Mine is to gain healthy weight.


It's no secret that I am pretty tiny and maybe even smaller than I am supposed to be at twenty-one years of age. I'm healthy but a couple years back I started to think of ways to become even more healthy and improve my self-confidence. I know you may be thinking, "You're a woman. Women shouldn't lift," but come on guys women can do anything. People think that women shouldn't lift because then they'll end up looking like men but that isn't the case at all.

Weightlifting burns fat, makes your muscles grow, and it makes your bones stronger. Weightlifting also helps me relax more when I'm feeling a little stressed out. One of my favorite workouts I like to do is BODYPUMP in the student recreation and wellness center at Radford University.

BODYPUMP is a fun and it's not only good for just weight lifting. Cardio is also incorporated into the work out as well.

Weight lifting has built up my confidence in so many ways. I feel better and I believe I look healthier too. Putting on weight through muscle has made it so that I move better with more pride in myself.

Some people might think it's a little crazy to WANT to gain weight been told that I should be happy being small but I've also been bullied about my tiny size as well. It's more than just gaining weight though.

I want to gain HEALTHY weight through exercise and a nutritional diet filled with carbohydrates (YES CARBS!), protein, and healthy fats.

Some people feel confident when they lose weight while others feel confident about gaining weight. We all have our fitness goals and none of it is easy but it definitely will be worth it once we do meet our goals. It's important to have smart fitness goals that can be achieved in a reasonable amount of time.

And believe me when I say these things take time and consistency. I believe we should encourage each other to meet our fitness goals and maintain them instead of questioning things like weight gain. I still have a long ways to go but I am becoming happier and happier with my progress each step of the way.

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