People Are Terrified Of Changing Their Toxic Behaviors, But They Shouldn't Be

People Are Terrified Of Changing Their Toxic Behaviors, But They Shouldn't Be

Change is a natural part of our existence, and we shouldn't be so scared of it.

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Some people truly do not want to change. Maybe they're stuck in their ways, or they have some unresolved trauma. But becoming a better person and constantly improving ourselves is an important aspect of the human experience. Staying the same and NEVER working on ourselves truly isn't the answer.

We need to grow. We need to work on our flaws. We need to care about others in a deep and meaningful way.

However, many people don't seem to grasp that concept and think that they are always right in a situation. I'm guilty of this in certain situations, but I'm working on it. I'm trying to get better at seeing situations from other people's perspectives, instead of just my own. although, I've been in many situations where the other person has actively done something wrong; they refuse to admit it or even apologize. That's a total friendship-ender to me.

As human beings, we ALL make mistakes.

It's a simple rule of existing. That doesn't excuse not apologizing for sh*tty behavior. When someone does something wrong and they're confronted about it, they need to take accountability for their actions. I'm way more forgiving when someone actually owns up to what they've done and apologizes.

Apologies are an important part of being a human being. To err is to be human, after all. When I f*ck up, I try to understand how I made the other person feel and apologize for my actions. Saying an apology only counts if you actually MEAN it though! For example, one of my friends is continuing to be friends with the girl who almost killed me in a drunk driving accident (on my 21st BIRTHDAY) and actively chooses her over me. I explained how I felt to her and she apologized and promised to improve her behavior. Instead, she blatantly disregarded my feelings and brought her to a show that I had previously invited her to, and she told me she was busy. So I went alone and then had to be surprised by the two of them showing up together.

Why would I continue to be friends with someone who doesn't actually want to change her behavior or be accountable for her apology? Change is a natural part of our existence, and we shouldn't be so scared of it.

Cover Image Credit:

Ashley McMurray

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Everything You Will Miss If You Commit Suicide

The world needs you.
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You won’t see the sunrise or have your favorite breakfast in the morning.

Instead, your family will mourn the sunrise because it means another day without you.

You will never stay up late talking to your friends or have a bonfire on a summer night.

You won’t laugh until you cry again, or dance around and be silly.

You won’t go on another adventure. You won't drive around under the moonlight and stars.

They’ll miss you. They’ll cry.

You won’t fight with your siblings only to make up minutes later and laugh about it.

You won’t get to interrogate your sister's fiancé when the time comes.

You won’t be there to wipe away your mother’s tears when she finds out that you’re gone.

You won’t be able to hug the ones that love you while they’re waiting to wake up from the nightmare that had become their reality.

You won’t be at your grandparents funeral, speaking about the good things they did in their life.

Instead, they will be at yours.

You won’t find your purpose in life, the love of your life, get married or raise a family.

You won’t celebrate another Christmas, Easter or birthday.

You won’t turn another year older.

You will never see the places you’ve always dreamed of seeing.

You will not allow yourself the opportunity to get help.

This will be the last sunset you see.

You’ll never see the sky change from a bright blue to purples, pinks, oranges and yellows meshing together over the landscape again.

If the light has left your eyes and all you see is the darkness, know that it can get better. Let yourself get better.

This is what you will miss if you leave the world today.

This is who will care about you when you are gone.

You can change lives. But I hope it’s not at the expense of yours.

We care. People care.

Don’t let today be the end.

You don’t have to live forever sad. You can be happy. It’s not wrong to ask for help.

Thank you for staying. Thank you for fighting.

Suicide is a real problem that no one wants to talk about. I’m sure you’re no different. But we need to talk about it. There is no difference between being suicidal and committing suicide. If someone tells you they want to kill themselves, do not think they won’t do it. Do not just tell them, “Oh you’ll be fine.” Because when they aren’t, you will wonder what you could have done to help. Sit with them however long you need to and tell them it will get better. Talk to them about their problems and tell them there is help. Be the help. Get them assistance. Remind them of all the things they will miss in life.

For help, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

Cover Image Credit: Brittani Norman

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The 'Real You' Is The You That's Fully-Rested And Cared For

"The real you comes out when you're tired and hungry and sick." Lies.

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I've often heard people say that the real you comes out at 3 a.m. or some other odd time of the night when you're cranky, hungry, or just in a bad mood. Honestly, that doesn't make any sense.

The real "you" is when you're well-fed, well-rested, cared for, and everything in between. You might say that there are rare times when that ever happens, but honestly, it's the effort that counts.

When you don't even try to take care of yourself, there's a subconscious part of you that believe it's unnecessary or not even worth trying for.

It's truly a precedent you set for yourself and the others around of you of how you would like to be treated.

This even applies to the thoughts we think. When we're running on less sleep or starving through a class, we're more prone to have self-destructive, mean thoughts about ourselves. And if you haven't been getting enough sleep for consecutive nights, really try and make it a priority to.

Sometimes, we don't realize how bad it was until gets better.

Funnily enough, this applies to other people as well. When we get disappointed because people don't treat us the way we think they should, we feel a little hurt. Honestly, though, it's important to think about circumstances that have caused them to act that way. It could have been a stressful week at work, a rough patch in a relationship, or even a fallout in a friendship. Given that, it's only natural to act differently. Not talking as much, reaching out to people less, preferring alone-time, and other things are completely normal.

So, don't take it personally. It's nothing against you.

And, this all really does come full circle. Think about it: you can only understand situations and people and the realness behind them when you are as well taken care of as you can be. So don't be afraid to put yourself first, even if it means skipping out on something else (which it often will).

You're worth it.

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