Some people truly do not want to change. Maybe they're stuck in their ways, or they have some unresolved trauma. But becoming a better person and constantly improving ourselves is an important aspect of the human experience. Staying the same and NEVER working on ourselves truly isn't the answer.
We need to grow. We need to work on our flaws. We need to care about others in a deep and meaningful way.
However, many people don't seem to grasp that concept and think that they are always right in a situation. I'm guilty of this in certain situations, but I'm working on it. I'm trying to get better at seeing situations from other people's perspectives, instead of just my own. although, I've been in many situations where the other person has actively done something wrong; they refuse to admit it or even apologize. That's a total friendship-ender to me.
As human beings, we ALL make mistakes.
It's a simple rule of existing. That doesn't excuse not apologizing for sh*tty behavior. When someone does something wrong and they're confronted about it, they need to take accountability for their actions. I'm way more forgiving when someone actually owns up to what they've done and apologizes.
Apologies are an important part of being a human being. To err is to be human, after all. When I f*ck up, I try to understand how I made the other person feel and apologize for my actions. Saying an apology only counts if you actually MEAN it though! For example, one of my friends is continuing to be friends with the girl who almost killed me in a drunk driving accident (on my 21st BIRTHDAY) and actively chooses her over me. I explained how I felt to her and she apologized and promised to improve her behavior. Instead, she blatantly disregarded my feelings and brought her to a show that I had previously invited her to, and she told me she was busy. So I went alone and then had to be surprised by the two of them showing up together.
Why would I continue to be friends with someone who doesn't actually want to change her behavior or be accountable for her apology? Change is a natural part of our existence, and we shouldn't be so scared of it.