People Are Terrified Of Changing Their Toxic Behaviors, But They Shouldn't Be

People Are Terrified Of Changing Their Toxic Behaviors, But They Shouldn't Be

Change is a natural part of our existence, and we shouldn't be so scared of it.

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Some people truly do not want to change. Maybe they're stuck in their ways, or they have some unresolved trauma. But becoming a better person and constantly improving ourselves is an important aspect of the human experience. Staying the same and NEVER working on ourselves truly isn't the answer.

We need to grow. We need to work on our flaws. We need to care about others in a deep and meaningful way.

However, many people don't seem to grasp that concept and think that they are always right in a situation. I'm guilty of this in certain situations, but I'm working on it. I'm trying to get better at seeing situations from other people's perspectives, instead of just my own. although, I've been in many situations where the other person has actively done something wrong; they refuse to admit it or even apologize. That's a total friendship-ender to me.

As human beings, we ALL make mistakes.

It's a simple rule of existing. That doesn't excuse not apologizing for sh*tty behavior. When someone does something wrong and they're confronted about it, they need to take accountability for their actions. I'm way more forgiving when someone actually owns up to what they've done and apologizes.

Apologies are an important part of being a human being. To err is to be human, after all. When I f*ck up, I try to understand how I made the other person feel and apologize for my actions. Saying an apology only counts if you actually MEAN it though! For example, one of my friends is continuing to be friends with the girl who almost killed me in a drunk driving accident (on my 21st BIRTHDAY) and actively chooses her over me. I explained how I felt to her and she apologized and promised to improve her behavior. Instead, she blatantly disregarded my feelings and brought her to a show that I had previously invited her to, and she told me she was busy. So I went alone and then had to be surprised by the two of them showing up together.

Why would I continue to be friends with someone who doesn't actually want to change her behavior or be accountable for her apology? Change is a natural part of our existence, and we shouldn't be so scared of it.

Cover Image Credit:

Ashley McMurray

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50 One-Liners College Girls Swap With Their Roomies As Much As They Swap Clothes

"What would I do without you guys???"
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1. "Can I wear your shirt out tonight?"

2. "Does my hair look greasy?"

3. "We should probably clean tomorrow..."

4. "What should I caption this??"

5. "Is it bad if I text ____ first??"

6. "Should we order pizza?"

7. *Roommate tells an entire story* "Wait, what?"

8. "How is it already 3 AM?"

9. "I need a drink."

10. "McDonalds? McDonalds."

11. "GUESS WHAT JUST HAPPENED."

12. "Okay like, for real, I need to study."

13. "Why is there so much hair on our floor?"

14. "I think I'm broke."

15. "What do I respond to this?"

16. "Let's have a movie night."

17. "Why are we so weird?"

18. "Do you think people will notice if I wear this 2 days in a row?"

19. "That guy is so stupid."

20. "Do I look fat in this?"

21. "Can I borrow your phone charger?

22. "Wanna go to the lib tonight?"

23. "OK, we really need to go to the gym soon."

24. "I kinda want some taco bell."

25. "Let's go out tonight."

26. "I wonder what other people on this floor think of us."

27. "Let's go to the mall."

28. "Can I use your straightener?"

29. "I need coffee."

30. "I'm bored, come back to the room."

31. "Should we go home this weekend?"

32. "We should probably do laundry soon."

33. "Can you see through these pants?"

34. "Sometimes I feel like our room is a frat house..."

35. "Guys I swear I don't like him anymore."

36."Can I borrow a pencil?"

37. "I need to get my life together...."

38. "So who's buying the Uber tonight?"

39. "Let's walk to class together."

40. "Are we really pulling an all-nighter tonight?"

41. "Who's taking out the trash?"

42. "What happened last night?"

43. "Can you help me do my hair?"

44. "What should I wear tonight?"

45. "You're not allowed to talk to him tonight."

46. "OMG, my phone is at 1 percent."

47. "Should we skip class?"

48. "What should we be for Halloween?"

49. "I love our room."

50. "What would I do without you guys???"

Cover Image Credit: Hannah Gabaldon

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Learning To Love All Of Yourself Is Essential To Living A Happy Life

All love, for yourself first.

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For many, including myself, the concept of self-love may be a distant one. Living in a world where people are constantly judged on how they look and act, it's easy to get caught up in the chaos of it all. We are constantly worried about maintaining an image on social media, looking a certain way, and acting in a way to please others. It is completely exhausting, and leads to the concept of self-love to fall through the cracks. How can we love ourselves when we are constantly making decisions based on the opinions of others? For those people out there just trying to love themselves: this one's for you.

I would love to say that I am an expert on this topic, but unfortunately I am not. Being a girl on a college campus, constantly comparing myself to others, I have become extremely critical of myself. I have always wanted to change different parts of myself in hopes of being completely happy with who I am.

Through these challenges, I have learned a few things about what loving yourself really means. Usually, when you think about the concept of self-love, you think of loving the physical attributes about yourself. But, the concept of self-love truly relies heavily on loving the whole person you are. You are much more than how you look in the eyes of other people, but the way you look at yourself weighs much more. People could have all different opinions about what you do and how you act, but at the end of the day ask yourself: Does it all really matter?

Are those people going to be be constantly around you for the rest of your life? No they aren't, maybe some, but not all. But, there will always be one person with you, and that person is you. You cannot escape how you perceive yourself, but you can most definitely change your perception. Part of this process is accepting the mistakes you have made in the past. Many, including myself, will completely shut down because of mistakes made in the past. Because of these mistakes, we try to "fix" ourselves but it is simply impossible to go through life without making mistakes. To unconditionally love who you are, you need to use those mistakes you have made to motivate and better yourself instead of holding yourself back from the happiness you deserve. Happiness and self-love go hand in hand.

Once you recognize that being completely yourself all the time radiates such a positive light, you will not want to be anyone else, but yourself.

Learning to love every part of me that makes me, me has been a difficult experience and I am still working on it. Everyday it gets a little better and I find that most of it comes from the people I choose to surround myself with. My amazing family and my loyal friends bring out my favorite qualities about myself.

They make me love the little things that I wouldn't be myself without. Take a minute to reflect on how the people around you make you feel about yourself. Surround yourself with the people that make you feel like you can do anything, be anything and push you to be the best possible version of yourself. That is the true meaning of self-love, being the best possible version of yourself in YOUR own eyes. I know it's easier said than done, trust me, but know you are not alone. Once you stop criticizing everything you do and everything about yourself, you will start to notice small changes. Just know, there is so much to love about you and I can't wait until you realize that. All love, Isabella.

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