I have never been one for twitter but often times on other social media I usually see screenshots of tweets. I was on VSCO earlier today which is like a low-key version of Instagram that is also used as an app to edit pictures. VSCO is known for being an app where you often find yourself republishing thing when you're in your feels, I am EXTREMELY guilty of this. Anyways, earlier I came across a screenshot of a tweet that actually made me stop in my tracks. It read:

"My most important goal for 2019 is to stop wishing my life away, stop wishing for Friday, dreading Monday, wishing I was done with school, wishing I would find my soul mate, wishing I would be this or that. It's time to start loving every moment I am blessed to be living in."

My first thoughts when reading this tweet were that it is so strange that someone that I have no relationship with, no connections with, can write something that I have been trying to say but I just couldn't bring all of my ideas together. As 2018 was closing, I was constantly talking about how I was so unhappy with the way that my personal life was going.

I was always sad and I was always wishing for something better to come. But as 2019 started I wanted something to change in the way that I thought, but I didn't really know how that I wanted to go about that.

Then when I read this screenshot everything kind of made sense in my brain. I want to stop wishing for certain parts of my life to be over, I want to stop wishing for time to go by so fast. I want to think this way for many reasons, one of them is I want to stop getting mad at myself when certain parts of my life don't go the way that I want them to.

This is something that I have always struggled with, I am a bit of a perfectionist and I always want things to turn out the way that I imagine in my head, and if they don't, I take it out on myself. When things don't turn out perfect I often start imagining the next part of my life to make sure that it's perfect.

I have come to the realization I need to stop doing this. I realized that by just wishing for certain parts of my life to come to make sure that they are perfect I am forgetting to live in the moment and actually appreciate being alive. I get in certain rough patches where I become so negative and hate the way that my life is going when I need to come to terms that there are so many other things that are going on in this world that are so much worse than my situation.

I want 2019 to be about living in the moment and not forgetting to be grateful for the life that I have been given.