I'm Learning To Adapt How I Love My Changing Hometown

I'm Learning To Adapt How I Love My Changing Hometown

San Francisco has dramatically morphed and changed in front of my eyes over the years.


I have a strange lens I view San Francisco through whenever I think about it. I visualize a skyline from the late 90s and I see the world in sepia tones. I see establishing shots of the Transamerica Pyramid from "Charmed" and Alamo Square and the Golden Gate Bridge from "Full House."

Obviously, I don't literally have a kaleidoscope of 90s entertainment set in San Francisco on my face whenever I visit the city. But, I have a set expectation with which I regard the city that I consider to be a distant, but significant part of my hometown experiences.

When I graduated from high school, my personal statement for colleges included a creative nonfiction piece personifying the city. Some of the first poetry I wrote in college centered around the city's effect on my growth and learning.

I'm from a suburb 45 minutes outside of San Francisco. It's my true home "town." However, San Francisco was the first source of history lessons from my parents, where I learned to co-exist in a city, and where I later escaped to with my friends.

What changed? San Francisco dramatically morphed into SF. There is a distinction, I promise you. San Francisco is the romanticized playground the Beats generation and has winding, mysterious streets. SF is an altered corporate landscape with airport traffic and overpriced parking.

I understand this sounds wholly dramatic, but I recognize my own bias in the matter. I've not been the only one to think about this city with magic and sensationalism. San Francisco has a history of being mysticized in the media and movies. From Chinatown to Telegraph Hill, it is no stranger to storytelling for generations.

So, when I felt my city changed, especially after I came back from college, it took and is still taking some adjusting to. I've accounted for the majority of my disillusionment. As I said before, I romanticized San Francisco like nothing else. What I faced, after years of learning to live in a different city and falling in love with it for other reasons, I was simply disappointed when San Francisco didn't hold the same level of magic in my eyes as before.

I am fortunate that the kind of change that I am facing is not as involved as others, but it is a change nevertheless. The fact of the matter is that San Francisco is growing as a city, building, and rebuilding, and it is difficult to handle a metropolitan level of change. Although there are parts of the advancing city that I will find hard to accept, I just have to go back to some of my favorite city spots to remember the essence of the city that I will always hold first in my heart.

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I Visited The "Shameless" Houses And Here's Why You Shouldn't

Glamorizing a less-than-ideal way to live.

After five hours of driving, hearing the GPS say "Turn right onto South Homan Avenue" was a blessing. My eyes peeled to the side of the road, viciously looking for what I have been driving so long for, when finally, I see it: the house from Shameless.

Shameless is a hit TV show produced by Showtime. It takes place in modern-day Southside, Chicago. The plot, while straying at times, largely revolves around the Gallagher family and their continual struggle with (extreme) poverty. While a majority of the show is filmed offsite in a studio in Los Angeles, many outside scenes are filmed in Southside and the houses of the Gallagher's and side-characters are very much based on real houses.

We walked down the street, stopped in front of the two houses, took pictures and admired seeing the house in real life. It was a surreal experience and I felt out-of-place like I didn't belong there. As we prepared to leave (and see other spots from the show), a man came strolling down on his bicycle and asked how we were doing.

"Great! How are you?"

It fell silent as the man stopped in front of the Gallagher house, opened the gate, parked his bike and entered his home. We left a donation on his front porch, got back to the car and took off.

As we took the drive to downtown Chicago, something didn't sit right with me. While it was exciting to have this experience, I began to feel a sense of guilt or wrongdoing. After discussing it with my friends, I came to a sudden realization: No one should visit the "Gallagher" house.

The plot largely revolves the Gallagher family and their continual struggle with (extreme) poverty. It represents what Southside is like for so many residents. While TV shows always dramatize reality, I realized coming to this house was an exploitation of their conditions. It's entertaining to see Frank's shenanigans on TV, the emotional roller coasters characters endure and the outlandish things they have to do to survive. I didn't come here to help better their conditions, immerse myself in what their reality is or even for the donation I left: I came here for my entertainment.

Southside, Chicago is notoriously dangerous. The thefts, murders and other crimes committed on the show are not a far-fetched fantasy for many of the residents, it's a brutal reality. It's a scary way to live. Besides the Milkovich home, all the houses typically seen by tourists are occupied by homeowners. It's not a corporation or a small museum -- it's their actual property. I don't know how many visitors these homes get per day, week, month or year. Still, these homeowners have to see frequent visitors at any hour of the day, interfering with their lives. In my view, coming to their homes and taking pictures of them is a silent way of glamorizing the cycle of poverty. It's a silent way of saying we find joy in their almost unlivable conditions.

The conceit of the show is not the issue. TV shows have a way of romanticizing very negative things all the time. The issue at hand is that several visitors are privileged enough to live in a higher quality of life.

I myself experienced the desire and excitement to see the houses. I came for the experience but left with a lesson. I understand that tourism will continue to the homes of these individuals and I am aware that my grievances may not be shared with everyone -- however, I think it's important to take a step back and think about if this were your life. Would you want hundreds, potentially thousands, of people coming to your house? Would you want people to find entertainment in your lifestyle, good and bad?

I understand the experience, excitement, and fun the trip can be. While I recommend skipping the houses altogether and just head downtown, it's most important to remember to be respectful to those very individuals whose lives have been affected so deeply by Shameless.

Cover Image Credit: itsfilmedthere.com

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