For almost 5 years, I knew I wanted to be a teacher. I still want to be a teacher, yet I am no longer an education major and I have no plans to teach. Makes sense, right?
My junior year in high school I took a class called Teacher Cadet. I took it because, well, I liked kids and I got to spend that class period at the elementary school. That was a good enough reason for 16-year-old me, and I enjoyed it more than my physics class. Come senior year I felt pressured to pick a major as I began applying for scholarships and universities. Everyone always complimented me on my success in Teacher Cadet and I didn’t really know what else I could do that was a promising career path, so I decided to major in elementary education.
My teachers were thrilled that I was choosing this path and some made comments like, “You’re going to do so great!” “You’re wonderful with kids!” and “The world needs more teachers like Nicole.” I liked that. It made me feel like I was on the right path, that this was what I suppose to be doing with my life. Deep down there was a little voice questioning this life decision, but I was so overcome by all the attention I was getting that I ignored it.
Let’s fast forward through the first 3 years of college, getting all of the liberal studies and prerequisite classes that I needed before I could become a student teacher. I’m student teaching in a first-grade classroom. I have to plan and teach several lesson plans to my students. No biggie, I’ve written lesson plans left and right throughout the past 3 years. I’ve gotten so good at writing them, my professors have asked for copies of a few to show as examples to future classes. As for the teaching, that’s just following the lesson plan, right?
Wrong. I get up in front of my students and begin teaching my first lesson ever. I’m nervous of course, but something just doesn’t feel right. I follow my lesson plan exactly, I use all the knowledge that I’ve learned from my classes about teaching, and my coordinating teacher even compliments me on how well I did for it being my first time teaching a lesson. But something was off.
When I finished my lesson, I didn’t feel a sense of accomplishment. I wasn’t ready to go back to school and brag to all my classmates about how exciting getting to actually teach was. I felt anguish. I was glad it was over and I was already dreading the rest of the lessons I had to teach that semester. I spent the rest of the day thinking to myself whether or not this was really what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.
I decided it wasn’t. Teaching my first lesson as a student teacher made me realize something. I love being around kids and I enjoy being in a classroom environment. I value education and I admire teachers, but I am not passionate about teaching.
Now I’m halfway through my senior year and I changed my major to English. I may not have a clear career path laid in front of me now, but I do know that I am studying something that I truly am passionate about and that is all that matters.
"You can't fake passion." - Barbara Corcoran
