"She was asking for it."

"I heard she's a slut."

"That girl is crazy, she's probably making it up."

"She was drunk so it doesn't even count."

These comments are collectively ignorant and wrong, yet they are regularly used to talk about victims of rape cases. The worst part? Young women are the ones most frequently using them. If you have ever said anything like this, I'd like for you to take a moment and think about what rape victims must be going through. Who are you to tell her she was asking to be violated? To say it was what she was wearing, saying, or drinking that caused her to be raped? Why are you not pointing your finger at the man who assaulted her? It is this sort of insensitivity that contributes to the large number of rape cases that go unreported or dropped.

Instead of shaming a rape victim for her life choices and blaming her, we should be standing by her. We should be raising awareness rather than brushing this issue under the rug. I know that sexual assault is a delicate subject, especially on college campuses where drinking is common. The truth is that in most states if a person is incapacitated by drugs or alcohol, they are not considered legally able to consent to sex, making it rape should sex occur while in such a state. A rape victim should not have to feel embarrassed about reporting a rape that she did not ask for in any way shape or form, regardless of whether she voluntarily became incapacitated or not. Choosing to be drunk and choosing to be raped are entirely different things and I'm fairly certain no one would ever choose to be assaulted, drunk or not.

Regardless of the circumstances surrounding a rape, no victim should feel as if she (or he) can't report the assault/ talk about it because she thinks it was her fault for getting drunk, flirting, or wearing certain clothes. One major way to help victims of sexual assault is to change the language we use to talk about them and the attack. Let's stop blaming the victim for something she had no desire to partake in and start making her feel loved and supported through such a difficult time. By raising awareness and using language that supports the victims, we can make it easier for others to come forward and report their attack, which would prevent the attacker from hurting more people. We're all on the same team: It's time we started acting like it.