"You just aren't the person I fell in love with" I hear, again, on the television, movies, and in real-life conversations happening all around me. Change is inevitable, yet we as humans sometimes have this fear of change. More so, we fear our loved ones changing into something we may not recognize. Relationships are an excellent example of exploring the aspect of change and how we view this inevitable part of life.

I pose this question, would you want to be in a relationship with the 12-year-old version of the person you are with? How about the 15-year-old version? Most people would probably say no. Why? Because they are young and immature. Yet when we get into a relationship with someone when we are twenty, and then a few years later they are different, we become upset and wish for the person to be the way they were when we met them.

Change is an inevitable part of life. We change every day with new experiences and memories. Perhaps we need to change our perspective about change.

I started dating my now Fiancé when I was thirteen. I am now almost twenty. If we had not changed at all since we started dating, we would both be extremely immature people. Yet we have both grown and changed.

There have been times in our relationship where we have a sudden realization that the person we are with is no longer the person they were a week ago, or a month or year ago. Some people may get scared when they realize this. I offer a different perspective. Every day I see my Fiancé grow as a person. I have been able to watch him mature and change for the past six and a half years. And every day, with every change, I get to learn who he is all over again. I get the opportunity to fall in love with him again every day.

We look at change as something so negative, and we fail to see the positives associated with change.

Sometimes, I will admit, change can be a negative. If a person develops poor habits or qualities that make them abusive, or otherwise unkind, then yes this change is bad. If you are in that type of relationship, you should consider getting out or seek help.

Otherwise, sit down with the person and talk to them. Talk about how they have changed. Discuss ways in which you would both like to continue to change and how you can help each other achieve this change.

Make each other a part of the change process. Talk about change often. Learn to see the changes as positive growth in your relationship, not as something scary and unfamiliar.

Grow with each other and discover each other every day.