I had been wracking my brain all night in an attempt to convince myself that this was a bad idea. I can’t go to the bar alone. Who knows what could happen? But regardless. It’s karaoke night and I want to shine.

I walked into the bathroom and adorned my face in glittery makeup that I knew would stand out on stage. My brush was soft as it transferred the silver sparkles onto my eyelid. The look was finished with an over-accentuated black cat-eye and dark purple lips. Then, I quickly put my hair in a wig cap and slipped on my Aunt’s black and red vampire wig. As I stood in front of the mirror taking in my appearance, a feeling of worry took over. My stomach turned in knots and I felt quite nauseous. I looked ridiculous.

Nevertheless, I knew I had to conquer my fear and just do it. From the otherworldly appearance of my face to the black halter and leather pants, I looked like I belonged on stage, identical to the character I envisioned and illustrated in my notebook. I’m an actress, I thought to myself. I can pull it off.

When I got to the bar, I quickly clacked my stilettos over to the karaoke sing up sheet and entered my character into the first slot.

1. Kitty Amour-Baby One More Time

I patiently waited for my name to be called. When the DJ finally announced me, I took a deep breath and made my way to the stage at the front of the room. I took hold of the microphone and looked out at the audience, taking it all in. There were well over two hundred people in the already crowded room. I felt my stomach start to turn on me again, but I brushed the feelings aside and nodded at the DJ. As soon as the music started, it overcame me.

I performed my heart out, letting the essence of Britney Spears overcome my character. With every swish of my hips, the crowd cheered. As much as I knew those cheers were fueled by early signs of a drunken night, the noise was invigorating and drove my adrenaline through the roof. When I finished singing, everyone cheered and I took my bows before leaving the stage. I took it in one last time, then made my way to the bar and ordered a glass of water to cleanse my vocal cords. As soon as I took a sip, a finger tapped me on the shoulder. I turned, and found myself staring into deep blue, ocean eyes.

“You were really good up there”, the man complimented.

“Thank you”, I replied, smiling.

“I’m Max”, he introduced, extending his hand to me.

“I’m”, I hesitated, wondering if I should reveal my identity or keep it hidden.

“I’m Kitty.” I chose the latter, gently dropping my hand in his, then releasing, just as I was taught.

This night was going just perfectly. My intention was to perform exceptionally well and to perhaps meet someone new. Max and I were enveloped in conversation until I lost track of time. I glanced quickly at my phone, registering the beaming 1:00 staring back at me. I turned to him.

“I have to go. It was nice talking to you.”

I rushed out of the bar without looking back. I wondered if Max was thinking about me, about who I really was. I heard him follow me outside and call after me, but I was already more than halfway to my car and didn’t respond. As soon as I got in, I drove away and never looked back.

As I lay in bed, I smiled. I actually was normal for once in my life. I left a man wanting more and it was exhilarating. Once I evaluated the events of the night, I realized I could use the bar as a space to release wishes to perform under an alias, and meet new people under my character.

This might actually work, I thought. Then I drifted off to sleep, swarmed with pleasant thoughts of my night out. Way to go, Kitty.