My Dearest Scullions and Wenches,
Having the last name "Shakespeare" can be quite the production. People always make comments or ask if I'm related to the infamous William Shakespeare, and then are dubious when they hear the answer. Allow me to ease your qualms by stating that yes, I do have lineage tracing back to the bard himself. Outlined is an inside view on what it is like living with the same surname as good, old Will.
It starts with every introduction.
People ask if there is any relation. You say, "Yes," and they would do this:
They might also do this:
The doubters annoyed you, but you refused to let the disbelievers get you down.
The challenges only continued.
When you were asked out on your first movie date in fifth grade, the boy recited Shakespeare to you because "his daily horoscope told him to."
Everyone pictures you reading Shakespeare's plays like this:
But in reality, it's like this:
People expect you to have many more artistic talents than you do, but really you're just an average kid.
You can't purchase anything without cashiers and waiters trying to bond with you over your name.
Though challenges are present, it isn't all bad.
English teachers flock to you with reckless abandon.
You always got a part in the school play no matter how atrocious of a performer you were.
You frequently won "show and tell" with your multi-page family tree.
All in all, you like your last name, but you know you get way too much credit for it because at the end of the day, the only Shakespeare quote you can state with any consistency is:
