As someone who does not participate in Greek life, I often feel I am viewed as an outsider; I feel as though I am seen as someone who is bitter or somehow spiteful. I tried recruitment, and by the second night, I realized it wasn't for me. I have nothing against those who do take part in those groups. I think that they are a great way for young women and men to connect to one another. But for me, the idea of distilling myself in order to appear more "normal" wasn't something that piqued any interest.
For a long time, I have known that I am an outsider. What I mean by that, is that I know that when I am my most authentic self, at least around other people, several outcomes are possible.
I know that a lot of people do not like me, and I am cool with that. It's just part of life.
Second, a sort of kindred connection. In this, I mean that there might be someone with whom I connect. Someone, with whom, I can be my whole self, unabashedly.
Third, indifference. The connection I have with this person is kind of skin-deep. Meaning that I'll smile, and listen to their stories, but I don't really find anything there that is of substance. Their outward opinions often likewise reflect.
I am a big believer in, "if it wasn't meant to be, it wasn't meant to be." For me, that is the reality I faced with Greek life. It just wasn't in the cards. As I've tried to convey, this is neither a bad thing, nor is it a good thing. It is rather indifferent. C'est la vie. Many of my peers who I admire are involved in Greek life, and that's wonderful!
What does any of this have to do with having an older sister? Well, everything. One of the things I think people seek within the Greek system is a family of friends: a group that serves as an automatic support system. For me, this already exists, with my big sister. There is something really magical about having someone who is there for you, even when you are at your worst. It is something that not even the strongest friendships can provide. It is a sense of undying devotion and care that only comes with blood. And it is a relationship where being your realest self is appreciated. I don't have to hold back when it comes to family, and therefore, they get to see a side of me that is often hidden. I suppose this is a double-edged sword, in that for the most part it is fun, but it can often be annoying. Well, c'est la vie.
Family is certainly hard. We don't always get along, and arguments often ensue. However, I would not trade having an older sister for anything in the world. Everyone likes to think that their siblings are somehow more special than any other siblings to have ever existed. I am no exception.
I think that in life, we need to spend more time enjoying the friends and family we have, because at the end of the day, life is far too short to spend wasting on anything else. C'est la vie.