Risks-
I fell in love once.
This overwhelming sensation lasted about two almost three years. It was a beautiful tragedy that I was forced to leave behind, but that is another story for another time.
You see since my past experience with love, I haven't felt much excitement towards another human being in a romantic sense.
Until now.
It's very different. There's no comparison. I don't want to compare. And the reason for that is because it doesn't feel right. I feel like I was a different person when this beautiful tragedy took place. I still have the same heart and the same capacity to love, which is just ever expanding, but my thought process is different.
I don't think I can go into much more depth about that as of now but, this feeling, this new feeling, I can describe.
It feels like a spark.
A small fire.
A beat of kick drum every one in a while.
After I sort of left the love I once felt behind I didn't seek it out again, the feeling. That warm comfort feeling. I didn't seek to feel that again.
And I won't.
I won't seek it out.
I won't ever feel it again. I don't want to feel it.
I've always wanted a new feeling,
and now I think it's beginning.
I've always been one to "make the first move", whether thats be just saying "hello" first and making new friends, or telling someone you're in love with them first. I guess I'm not really into waiting for something to come to me if I want it enough. Impatient, persistent, call it what you will. I've always sort of been "to the point" when it came down to saying how I feel, and If I wait to long to say it, it just pours out of me like a waterfall. Recently, I've learned that sometimes this not completely accepted or appreciated.
This leads me into risks.
The risk I'm about to take is going to be to approach this new feeling slowly.
To make less waves of constant effort, and to just let it flow.
To maintain the excitement I feel about this person, while also maintaining my piece of mind.
To not think I have to do a thousand things in their favor and as a result have a feeling of empty.
To just enjoy, and like, and love, and accept.
To know that things can work out sometimes.
Even though things may not work out the way I hope, I will always remember them as the person who triggered this new, fiery spark, inside me, and I will thank them for being themselves and thank myself for allowing my soul to feel this extravagant emotion.
Stay true to yourselves, stay graceful, stay mighty, stay strong and become stronger friends.
