Cats have been a popular subject for memes since memes became popular. Felines fill our lives with hours of entertainment and connect us through the power of the internet. There are myriad reasons why people adore cats. By the same token, children provide us with many reasons to dislike them. The two are not mutually exclusive, of course.
You can like children AND cats, but you're wrong. Cats are just better, folks, and here's why.
1. Cats are queens/kings of independence
You don't have to wipe their butts or submit to their every need. Give cats food, water, a clean litter box, and some love and they're good to go.
2. Children are nasty flesh bags of disease
You may have to clean up a hairball that your cat has vomited but they won't sneeze into your mouth and give you the flu. I cringe every time I see a child cough without covering his/her mouth.
3. Cats love to tell you about their day
If your cat is particularly vocal, they'll give you the rundown of what happened while you were at work or school. Ask kids about what they did/learned today and get the vague "I don't know."
4. Children can be rude as heck
They have no filter and maybe that's not their fault. Cats can't tell you that they think you're fat/ugly/etc.
5. Cats give the best back rubs
When they're kneading dough/making biscuits, you might get lucky and they'll do it on your back/butt/legs. Try asking your kids for a back rub and see what happens.
6. Children ruin most experiences for the public
How many times have you been at a restaurant, store, movie theatre, or literally anywhere and a child has been screaming, crying, yelling, being generally obnoxious? Probably at least once a week. How many times has a cat ruined your day out at Target? That's right: never.
7. Cats are cuter than babies, let's be real
All babies look the same. Have you seen an ugly cat? I haven't. Even if they're deformed or "ugly," they're still outrageously adorable.
8. Children are an 18+ year investment
Cats already cost less than children, but your cat isn't going to call you at college asking for money.
9. Cats don't need to eat all of their food with ketchup or ranch
Children are such picky eaters. Cats eat their food without (much of) a complaint.
10. Children need constant attention and stimulation
I'm guessing this is why I always see disinterested parents giving their kids iPads to play with rather than talking to them.
11. Cats don't need rides everywhere
They're content with just relaxing with you on the sofa while you binge Netflix.
12. Children never want to sleep at night
Cats are nocturnal, but they will definitely be taking an afternoon nap right next to you.
