Cats: Evil Narcissists and Their Owners | The Odyssey Online
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Cats: Evil Narcissists and Their Owners

Don't forget to have band-aids around them!

Hannah Cunnup
Jul 25, 2016
Western Carolina University
129
Cats: Evil Narcissists and Their Owners

If you own a cat and already know what it's like to be your cat's slave, I would suggest for you to go play with them and act like they aren't going to kill us in our sleep.

1. The first reason to own a cat is to understand that cats own us!

2. When you become a parent to a sweet and oh, so nice kitty.

Please be sure to see that you will not have the opportunity to enjoy life outdoors, but will have a sad, sad life always indoors.

3. If you're one of those people who believe cats are easier to take care of than dogs.

You have a good idea of how being a cat's parent requires more time and energy adoring and constantly reassuring those little narcissistic assholes they're the "most amazing and cutest creature ever".

4. Cats are always cleaning themselves to make it seem like the cats are the head of the house hold

They have to be in top shape to run one (ask Salem Saberhagen).

5. Cats have multiple personalities

This is to accommodate to the different owners they may end up with (or not, hopefully!).

6. Cats constantly stare at you because they're judging our life choices

Relationships, laziness and purely out of torture.

7. They are fearsome beings

Especially near water, balloons, blankets, people, dogs, spray bottles, more balloons and last but not least: being laughed at.

8. Cats love to scratch on your furniture because they're preparing for the hunt

They are showing that they could pounce on you at any time.

9. Finally if you still want to own a cat.

Please proceed at your own risk.

*If considering to own one of these evil beings, go to a animal shelter and adopt!*

***Disclaimer: Cats are very intuitive to human emotions and aren't always assholes***


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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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