“Metaphysics is like being in a dark room, looking for a black cat that isn’t there" – Unknown.

Metaphysics is a branch of philosophy that deals with the ambiguous concept of “being." In other words, it's the true meaning of everything that surrounds us, and what can be more universal than the search for meaning? Meaning to our actions, to our hobbies, jobs, or even lives. Even though we come from different backgrounds and speak different languages, we all tend to look for that place where we are welcomed and where we can be ourselves. By finding something to which we can devote ourselves, we often stumble upon reasons to smile, and eventually, that is what keeps us going.

Times have shown us many improvements, and men, as well as women, no longer possess those scars from rough and troubled times that their parents or grandparents might skillfully hide. Perhaps we have become used to this, and we occasionally fail to remember that in all of our divine existence, we are still imperfect. Just like Norman Maclean so gracefully depicts it, “man by nature is a damn mess, and only by picking up God’s rhythms are we able to regain power and beauty.”

Power and beauty, two concepts which at times seem unattainable, are proof that within our flaws and misfortunes we still stand a chance at becoming something memorable. Easier said than done, but true grace may come in many forms and shapes that can be applicable to anyone willing to open their mind and dedicate their time. Passion will never be overlooked; after all, who am I as an engineer to criticize the work of an artist by its symmetry, or to ever have the nerve to qualify my job as “harder?" I might be the jack of all trades, but I’m still the king of none, because I’m as imperfect as one might come. All I can do is try learning His rhythms, but as much as it pains me to say it, life is more than just fly fishing.

While I might still be in college, I do have dreams of greatness, as I assume many of us do, yet every day I ponder upon the same questions as I steadily move from assignment to assignment, I tell myself—it’s been three years already, it can’t be that much longer, right? And that’s where I stop to think about my life after graduation. Sadly I still can’t see a clear image, my mind races faster than I can control and points to more directions than I can possibly analyze.

As I look back in my life to the point where I decided what the rest of my life was going to be like, I realize that I’m still very far from having a plan, as my ideas of the future consist of nothing but directions, without any regards to the possible outcome. In reality, I don’t know if looking for a house and a wife with two kids and a dog is the way to go. I’m not saying it isn’t, I mean, I have surely enjoyed a life with my parents, sister, and dog. More often than not I fall victim to believing that I’ll be content knowing that wherever I end up, my only true goal should be to regain the strength and grace that I was sent here to obtain.

Where is the right place to stop, if I don’t have a destination to shoot for? Just like the trembling fears that push me down the steep and slippery slopes of familiar milieus, I look away when the time to take a risk comes. Leaving to venture into the unknown seems pointless when the return is doubtful and the end goal presents no material reward. Looking for a place where the grass moves like waves up the hills and an ocean is sounding off like a storm as it breaks across the rocks may sound really nice, but how do you get there when learning to follow the lines on the roads is a skill quite uncommon these days? I struggle to realize that even though they look similar, somehow they read differently wherever I go—mile after mile they have a new story to tell, and I become part of it as I travel. With every sunset a new destination is reached, all of them attractive enough to make me want to stay still forever. Is it really worth leaving again?

How much of my life should I spend looking for the reason to live? For the meaning of it. Must I keep moving, only hoping that I’ll make the right decision and choose the right path when I come across it, when all I want is to leave this place having a reason to smile? Will it take me a lifetime to see if I lived a worthy life?