11 Entries From The Diary Of Your Cat
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To whoever finds my diary.

First I hope that you can come and try to save me from my captors. And second, bring food that isn't dry preferably steak please and thank you.

Day 20.

My captors continue to taunt me with these bizarre dangling objects. I'm not sure what they are but I continue to fall into the trap of trying to catch them. My captors bought all of these weird toys for me but honestly their just wasting their money cause I prefer playing with hair ties and Q-tips

Day 25.

My captors are currently dining on a lavish meal of fresh meat while I am forced to eat this nasty dry cereal. The only thing from keeping me from going insane is the hope of me escaping one day and of course, me shredding my owner's couches. Tomorrow I might eat the houseplant and then throw it up while my owners are gone.

Day 30.

My attempt to try and kill my captors failed horribly, as they were walking I tried to attack there feet but they just kicked me. Next time I will try from the stairs. In the meantime, I might puke on their favorite chair... again. Or maybe I'll try the bed... again. I tried to attempt and kill my captors again but they just stood there in awe like HELLO I'm trying to kill you not look cute. Weird.

Day 35.

I slept all day so that I can annoy my captors all night long..

Day 40.

Today I killed a mouse and brought back only half of it so I could show my captors what I am capable of and to strike fear into there hearts. My captors thought I was a sweet little kitten but dang they were wrong.

Day 45.

So... my captors are very angry at me because I guess I have fleas not sure what they are but I have been super itchy and I am blaming the dumb dog for this one. Oh wow for no good reason my captors have decided to torture me with water and decided to use this horrible chemical called "Shampoo" What sick creature invented this.

Day 50.

Today my captors had some sort of gathering with their accomplices. Even though I have been hiding I can still hear them and smell there foul odors of glass they call "Beer" Most importantly I heard that MY confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". I must learn about this and learn how to use it to my own advantage.

Day 55.

I brought in a live rabbit today and well my captors screamed. All I was trying to do was make them happy. Ungrateful creatures.

Day 60.

As I was looking out the window today I saw another cat... not quite sure what they thought they were doing on my captors lawn but it has to stop. So I decided to pee in the corner of the house to make sure they know that this is my house.

Day 65.

My captors tried to cuddle with me today, I was feeling it for a hot second but then I hated it and hissed. Sorry, we can try again later. But I can't make any promises that I won't hiss again.

Day 70.

This whole time I have been complaining about my captors but really... they aren't that bad... I mean yes I have to eat dry cereal and get yelled at for bringing in mice without heads but at least they care for me.

Sincerely, Cat

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