Growing up, my mother always taught me that I should choose my friends wisely. She would further explain that the people I surround myself with are a reflection of who I am at the end of the day. I could accomplish the goals I set for myself and follow my conscience when it deemed necessary, yet my actions only determine half of how my identity is perceived. My mother was right. The other half is based off of factors that don't seem right or fair, but whether we like it or not, we are most often defined by the people who we associate with. From my experience, quality friends are not always easy to come by, but with time, patience, and the right head on your shoulders, you will eventually find them.

In elementary school, the group of friends you have are largely attributed to who your parents are friends with and the play dates that are made for you. These plans are out of our control and generally develop friendships that last until middle school and sometimes even high school years. These friends were placed into our lives without our say, and only time will tell if whether or not they will remain significant characters in our future circles.

Moving onto the middle school years, I cringe just thinking of the prepubescent kids who are making their way into “young-adulthood.” Beginning with raging hormones that translate into petty drama, these newly inducted teenagers face the most difficult of times. There is an inherent hierarchy that middle school cultivates, one that distinguishes the popular from the unpopular. You most definitely could not spot me sitting with the cool crowd, and you could undoubtably say I was alone majority of the time. I know almost anyone could attest to the fact that middle school girls are just plain mean. From crushes to school projects, fights arise from the most trivial topics, and the world just feels so unjust and intimidating. I remember the first time I got bullied was in the 6th grade, and I distinctly remember wondering if I would ever find a nice group of friends, as my mother caressed her daughter with her tear-filled eyes. I remember reading books and hearing that it gets better with time, and that this deep-rooted social scale will not follow me forever.

I believe high school is the first time all friendships that were established in the past are put to the test. All cliques and previously made ties must tackle the most difficult of situations yet. It will be the first time that certain factors come into play that have the ability to challenge your beliefs and morals as well as the people around you. Alcohol and drugs are brought into the mix, and crucial decision-making that you’ve never encountered before is at the core of your day to day interactions. As you mature and your principles develop, so do your expectations for the friends you want to keep by the time you get to college. These are pivotal moments that either hurt or help you decide what type of person you want to be and who you want to be there during the most incredible and most difficult of times. You’re experiencing so many firsts and so many emotions, and it’s important to have a support group there to comfort you through it all. Who do you want there when you receive your first rejection letter? Who do you want holding your hand when the boy you love turns you down? Who are you willing to visit when you’re hundreds or thousands of miles away from home for an entire four years? These are the questions you should be asking yourself when you look around and see the people that allow insight into to who you are and what you value to the rest of the world.

I can honestly say that with time, I found the best people in high school and in college. I believe that if someone were to look at my friends, they would be proud of the people I chose to stand beside me who help represent the person I am everyday. I hope that you chose your friends wisely, and remember to surround yourself with people that bring out the best in you and make you the happiest, no matter how cliche that sounds. You owe it to yourself to look out for the good ones and once you find them, make sure you don't let them get away.