Cardi B And Offset's Breakup Isn't A Surprise

Cardi B And Offset's Split Isn't A Surprise, Their Relationship Was Unhealthy From The Start

It just doesn't look like their level of care for each other was equal. Without saying any names, it's clear that one person was more in love with the other.

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Is love dead?

That's a question I found myself asking today.

Well, about five minutes ago, actually.

I made a vow to start reading the news regularly... real news, that is: The Associated Press, Reuters, Democracy Now. Things of substance. But because I am a slave to social media and trashy celebrity gossip, I found myself scrolling the blogs this afternoon and was quite surprised to see that Cardi B and Offset have reportedly split.

I honestly was not expecting it.

Of course, I expected them to separate eventually (celebrity relationships never really last) but I didn't think it would be this soon. I would be lying if I said I'm not confused by my reaction, but I actually felt kind of sad reading about it. I'm not one of those people that emotionally invest themselves in celebrity relationships or any other person's relationship, that is, so I don't feel bad because I "shipped them." I feel bad because everything I'm seeing and experiencing lately when it comes to love and relationships has been extremely negative and disappointing. Has love, dating and marriage always been this terrible, or is this some type of 21st-century thing?

Maybe the question I really should be asking is whether or not true romance ever existed. I'll be the first one to admit: most of my ideas of love come from movies and TV shows, music, and literature. I know that it's unrealistic, but a huge part of me still yearns for that picturesque version of love, where the connection runs so deep you know what the other person is thinking. To be so passionately in love with someone that it physically hurts to be without them. But a perfect love can only exist if you work for it. The foundation of the greatest relationship is made of respect, trust, honesty, and vulnerability (the latter being the most important, yet the one I think is least emphasized). A relationship becomes love when you're not afraid to show your whole self to your partner, to let them in and give a part of yourself, knowing that you may just end up hurt in the end.

When you respect someone, you don't lie to or betray them. When you trust someone, you don't have to play games. And when you're honest and vulnerable, you can connect with someone deeply and intimately. Love is an extremely positive experience, yet lately, all I've been saying are the worst parts of it. I see cheating left and right, people who have no pride in their relationships and air their troubles on social media, relationships that only exist because their partner wants to scam them, and a whole lot of fake commitment. For as many good relationships that are out there, there seem to be at least five more bad ones. So I wonder, is timeless and unconditional love just a myth, or are people just bad partners?

I've come to the conclusion that a relationship doesn't work out because a couple can build and maintain a good foundation, but rather because a couple cares so much about each other that they want to. I only know as much about Cardi B and Offset's relationship as has been on the gossip blogs, but I have to say that from what I've seen, it just doesn't look like their level of care for each other was equal. Without saying any names, it's clear that one person was more in love with the other. Honestly, I wouldn't even go as far as saying what they had was love.

At least, it wasn't my conception of it.

So is love really dead? I guess it depends on what you consider love. Following celebrity relationships and being exposed to others' on social media makes me think that a lot of partnerships these days are infatuation rather than love. Following celebrity relationships can also make you really pessimistic, not to mention the negative experiences you may have in your own life. Seeing it over and over — experiencing it over and over — has made me feel like even if love does exist, it just dies out over time.

Or maybe I just have to accept that not every relationship is love.

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Why You Should Stop Chasing Him

You deserve better.
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They say “the thrill of the chase" makes someone more enticing. There's just something about wanting something you can't have that drives you crazy (in a good way). There is never a dull moment. Pursuing him is a challenge. Nothing comes easily. What's the fun in that anyway?

I'm going to tell you this: stop chasing him. Stop forgiving him when he forgets to answer your text messages and phone calls. Stop being the one to always make plans. Stop letting him bail on you. Stop waiting around for him. Stop being lied to. Stop making excuses when he doesn't make time for you. There is a difference between someone who is “hard to get" and a flat out jerk who doesn't give you the time of day. Stop letting him use you.

You deserve to be with someone who makes you fall asleep every night in the middle of texting him because neither of you want the conversation to end. You deserve someone who plans dates for the two of you. You deserve someone who asks you to hang out before midnight. You deserve someone who wants to spend time with you just as much as you do with them. You deserve someone who insists on paying for your ice cream. You deserve someone who won't deceive you. You deserve someone who is straightforward. You deserve attention. You deserve affection. You deserve a partnership that is mutual, not one-sided. You deserve to be chased.

You are better than 3 a.m. “Hey" texts. You are better than a night spent watching a movie just to fool around. You are better than trying to decode his vague messages. You are better than his shadiness. You are better than mind games. You are better than being ignored.

If you have to chase him, he's not worth it. Don't settle for someone who makes you beg for his attention. If he is genuinely interested in getting to know you, he will put in the effort. A relationship where your feelings are reciprocated is far more rewarding than one where you constantly feel like you have to drag him along.

Change your mentality. Become more independent. Be confident, be bold. Find happiness in being alone. Don't waste your time pathetically chasing after someone who doesn't feel the same, but doesn't have the heart or the courage to tell you so. Your self-confidence and positivity will make you radiant, and eventually, you will attract the kind of guy who is mature enough to not mess with your head.

Cover Image Credit: weheartit.com

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Ghosting Is Not Only Annoying, It’s Childish—Get Your Act Together And Respond

It's time to stop ignoring conversations.

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The term ghosting is defined as the practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication. (Also, how sad is it that it actually has coined definition.) Whether you are ignoring your co-worker, friend, tinder match, mom, I can guarantee you that everyone, at least once, has ghosted on someone.

And it's understandable. That's how our society is built now. If you don't like something, you stop using it and move on to something else. If you don't want to be in a conversation, you ignore it and move to the next conversation. But when you begin to do that with every conversation, you are no longer communicating. You're just being childish.

Ghosting is easy because if you don't like how the conversation is going, you can just exit out of your messaging app and pretend it never happened. But the problem is that the other person that's involved with that conversation can't pretend like it never happened. The intention behind the ghosting is still there. Whether you are mad at that person, feel uncomfortable, or just don't want to listen what the other has to say, the receiving communicator will still know what you're feeling because you can't think of a response. The "ghoster" just couldn't face their issues and decided to hide behind a screen. And that's infuriating. If you can't handle the responsibility or responding, you shouldn't be able to start a conversation at all.

Of course, it's easier said than done, but we need to get back into the habit of finishing conversations. We need to be able to face our problems and know how to communicate them to others. We need to understand true interaction if we want to be able to have a real relationship with other people. So stop being annoying. Stop being childish. Respond.

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