To the boy I wasn't supposed to fall for,
I'm not quite sure what we were supposed to be. We were both quick to tell each other we weren't ready for anything serious, so why exactly did I fall for you? Why, for a split second, did it feel like our stars were finally lining up, and we were going to be, only for it to be shot down by your mind convincing you it wasn't the right time?
I do not know how to completely erase you from me. How do I burn the feeling that you left upon my skin? How do I erase the 6 a.m. conversations we had while watching the sun peak through the curtains? I cannot.
Here's what I do know, though.
You are forever imprinted in my mind, the place you slowly entered before rushing in. We were not a summer fling, we were not two souls that crossed at the wrong time. We were, in fact, made for one another. We were made to help each other grow, to find out what our souls really crave. You were brought into my life to teach me that love can still conquer the deepest cracks in my heart. I was brought into your life to teach you that even when you think the world doesn't see you, one person is in awe of you. Someone is paying attention to you.
I think together we were supposed to teach each other that we were still capable of love despite our fear of dealing with heartbreak again.
Maybe it's just me. Maybe I was just really weak, and you knew exactly what to say and do to make me fall, just to walk away as I hit the ground. Or maybe, it's not just me. There is no way that we went through nearly six months of learning each other's passions and talking about things we had never shared with another soul, for you to not feel a single thing. I think that you were scared. You knew this could have been something so pure and raw, and that made you terrified.
You blame it on timing, but we were not "right people that met at the wrong time." That's bullshit, really, because the right people never meet at the wrong time. The right people meet when they need to, whether life is throwing every ounce of pain, fear, chaos, or even freedom right at you, or not. We are the right people who met at the exact right time, but you have a mind so clouded with smoke that you could not see clearly what you had in front of you. So, I let you go when you needed to leave, because begging you to stay would hurt more than seeing the sun peak through the curtains at 6 am, while I lie alone.
