Why Can't We Be Friends
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Relationships

Why Can't We Be Friends

The problems with the quick fix.

10
Why Can't We Be Friends
youhearthenew.com

So your luck ran short, and now you’re left with a not so happy ending. Emotions are running high and you want to do something to ease the heartbreak. Then one of you pulls the all too familiar line. You’ve heard all the success and horror stories. How do you know if you “can still be friends” after a breakup?

Everyone’s situation is unique, I won’t pretend to be an expert. Undoubtedly, this is a tricky situation. However, there are a few universal signs that friendship is not the best next step.

1. It was a "bad" breakup.

It may sound obvious, but these are situations when emotions are running high and sometimes that means we leave sensible thought at the door. Think about why you broke up. Could you put up with that behavior in a friendship? Chances are, if you two broke it off because you weren’t treating each other properly you two won’t make good friends.

2. It just happened.

Even if the break up was mutual and “good”, people need time to heal. If you dated for years, the transition to a platonic relationship can’t happen overnight. After spending so much time as a couple, this is the time the both of you need to learn how to be individuals again.

3. You don't really want to be "just friends."

This is one of the easiest problems to slip into, often without even realizing it. This is why the time apart is so vital. While you’re learning to be just you again, think about what you really hope to gain from being friends. Are you nervous about being single and want to keep close ties just in case things don’t work out elsewhere? Are you hoping this time together will convince them to take you back? If you answered yes, you should say no to friendship.

4. You're a vengeful person.

You can’t help it, well maybe you can a little. You feel burnt and you want to make sure they come out just as charred as you. If you’re set on revenge, nothing anyone says, or types, will change your mind. Keep in mind that there is some truth to what they say about mixing fire with fire.

Breakups will always be hard and there’s no one-size-fits-all solution. Remember that no one has to make any final decisions right now. Maybe in a few weeks, or months, the two of you will realize how much you truly hate each other or just the opposite. In all likelihood, it won’t be either of those. So for now, hand over your phone to your most trusted friend (we all know why), make another run to Krispy Crème, and get ready to binge watch your favorite show on Netflix.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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