Okay, I know what you're thinking: "Of course a parent can force their kid to be religious. You can force a kid to do whatever you want when you're the parent." And I'm not disagreeing with that thought; you can pretty much make your kid do anything--play an instrument, play a sport, or even force them to be nice to the kid that stole their ball on the playground the day before. What the parent says goes.
But isn't that kid gonna wake up one day and think, "Wow, I'm so happy I'm eighteen now and can make my own decisions legally?" Being told what to do and what to believe in is a ticking time bomb. They figure it out eventually that they were being played and never should have been nice to that bully in fourth grade. Or maybe they shouldn't have believed in something they were forced into since they were a baby.
All in all, if you want your child to continue to be religious into his or her adult life, you cannot force-feed your beliefs down their throat from the moment they can walk. It's more of a brain wash than a religious education. In many cases, this forceful and brainwashing technique 100 percent works out. Some people find themselves devoted to their faith their entire life. And for others, it definitely doesn't.
I grew up in a pretty religious home. I wouldn't say that my parents are extremists at all, but I was forced to go to mass every Sunday until I got my confirmation. Receiving confirmation is basically being considered an adult in the Catholic church. I hated every second of it. I never attended Catholic school, but I remember my mom waking me up for mass and I would always think of any excuse in my head not to go. I think half of it was because it was so early and the other half was that mass was boring to me. I hated going to mass. No, I despised going to mass. Not only did I hate that, I hated Sunday school and CCD because it took away from all the other things I wanted to be doing. I hated it all mostly for selfish reasons.
I never created a relationship with God or any other godly entity because I was selfish. I was a kid. I was being told to wake up on one of my only two days off that I got to sleep in just to get up and go to mass. When I walked in, I had to sign in. One time, I forged my sister's signature because she couldn't make it to mass that Sunday (sorry, God) and the coordinator of the program literally compared our signatures together. An hour later, he called my mom for a meeting. I didn't understand the strictness of it all. I always complained to my mom that I should WANT to go to church, not be forced to go because attendance was being taken. Of course, the attendance at mass and all the late Saturday and Sunday nights spent at the church was to receive my confirmation.
I didn't understand why I was devoting so many hours to something that my heart wasn't in. I was doing it for my parents, not for myself. I never got to appreciate what our religion had to offer. I never got to explore any other religion and see which one my beliefs fit into. I was just going through the motions and trying to believe what everyone else around me in my church believed.
Honestly, I wanted to be the type of person that looked forward to Sundays. Looked forward to that time that you got to spend in God's house and be surrounded by people that had the same devotion to their faith. But it never happened for me. I remember I would always be looking for signs for proof of God because I needed concrete proof. I would hear crazy stories of revelations and epiphanies and I just didn't understand. I just started to believe maybe God was pissed at me or something.
Of course, I pray sometimes. I pray when I'm scared shitless. When I really need a good grade. When my car is about to hydroplane off the road. When a loved one is about to die. But shouldn't it be more than that? Aren't I supposed to pray every night or something? I used to do that when I was eight and thought God could bribe the tooth fairy to bring me more cash or something. I was a savage child.
I know that I have it easy. I know that I could be in a family that is so devout to their religion that their lives revolve around it, that their lives depend on it. I could be somewhere where people get shot for what they believe in. I guess it's a classic American problem that we have a law for freedom of religion and then we still have people complaining. Typical.
I don't think that my parents are to blame that I don't have the faith in the religion I'm supposed to or that they would like me to. I don't even blame my church. That much. I don't really think anyone is to blame here. My parents did what they thought was right and hoped I would follow in their footsteps. Maybe it's not in the cards for me. Yet I think that I was able to learn crucial life lessons through my journey, like right from wrong and helping others in need. I also learned that a lot of Catholics were homophobes. That definitely didn't fly with me. I think my hatred really turned to loathing at that point. I pretty much threw my middle finger and the deuces up and now only attend on holidays when my family makes me (#LoveAlwaysWins).
I think what would have really helped would have been to have a choice somewhere along the line. Explore my options. See what else is out there. Too many times parents have a one track mind. That there's only one side to the situation. That whatever they believe is what their child should believe, too. Mostly, I just think it's a shame for having so much anger and hatred towards something I was supposed to love. For devoting so much time to something that I may never return to later in my life.
Maybe I'm just too selfish. Or rely on science too much. And I hope one day I can find faith in something and believe in something, anything really. But it'll be because I want to, not because I was forced to.