As someone who is eternally single, I've always cracked jokes about dying alone. It's like a mini pep talk to tell myself that I'll be okay if I never find love, but I'm starting to realize that I can't live with my parents forever and there are a lot of things I can't do on my own. Here's why dying alone is absolutely not an option.

1. Spiders

Honestly, the problem goes beyond spiders. If it has more than four legs, I'm not touching it and I'm not dealing with it living in my house.

2. Sunburn

As a fare skinned individual, sunburn is absolutely inevitable and aloe isn't going to apply itself to my back.

3. Cars

Because I don't want to be that girl that has to pay to get my car checked every time a light comes on my dash. I could learn to change a tire if I needed but how do cars actually work?

4. Massages

Professional massages are expensive and I'm fairly certain my student debt isn't going to leave a gap for that in my budget.

5. My Hair

I have a lot of hair and it's be totally exhausting to play with it all by myself.

6. Fixing Things

I mean I know how hammers and screwdrivers work, but what if pipes are leaking or there's a hole in the wall? I'd have no idea what to do with those.

7. Raising My Children

My initial plan was never to die alone, but to adopt kids so I wouldn't have to. Male role models are important and although I'd make a kick ass single mom, I think it'd be good for my kids to have a father anyway.

8. Cooking

My standards for this one aren't that high. I don't need a master chef, just someone to make me a killer grilled cheese when I get home from work.

9. Back Scratches

The man of my dreams is the one willing to scratch my back until I fall asleep and this just sounds too nice to be negotiable.

10. Emergencies

Who helps you when you run out of toilet paper and you live alone? Absolutely no one.