I wish I could say I'm sorry, but I'm not. For once in my life I put myself first.

I wish I could say I feel bad, but I don't. I feel great. I am genuinely happy.

I wish I could say that I would change the way things happened, but I wouldn't. I just would've done it sooner.

I wish I could say I was sorry about the way I handled things, but really that was the only way I could handle everything.

To be honest, you had to have expected it. You had to expect that I couldn't do it anymore. You didn't talk to me for three days after I told you things needed to change. They didn't change. I didn't want to change you, just the way you treated me, but that meant changing you.

I felt really bad at first, but now I'm happy. I needed to be happy. I wanted you to be happy. I know you say you were happy with me, but trust me, you'll be happier without me. You'll meet someone new, or knowing you, a lot of new people. You're the one who told me you're used to talking to seven girls at a time, but you knew I wouldn't like that. I knew from day two that this wasn't going to work. I wanted it to work, but it just couldn't. Feelings aren't enough, especially when they go away.

There's a lot of things about me you couldn't bring yourself to even try to understand: prayer before dinner at my house, my thoughts and opinions, and even my clothing choices. I don't want to say it was manipulative, because I don't think that was your intention at all; however, your condescending attitude just pushed me further away.

I want to be happy and I want you to be happy. I don't think either of us would have ever been really happy together, and that's just the reality of this relationship.

Maybe these are all the things I should've said to you. Maybe these are the things I should've said months ago. Maybe I should've kept my phone off that night. Maybe I should've deleted your number the first time.

There are so many maybes in so many situations. If I would've listened to these maybes who knows what would've happened? Add in the what ifs and there's even more.

What if I went on a date with someone else instead? What if I chickened out of our first date like I thought I would? What if I would've swiped left? What if you took me on a date for once? What if I would've deleted Tinder right away like I did every other time?

The wishes, maybes and what ifs will never make up for everything. I deserve better, I deserve the best. You'll be someone's best, just not mine.

I wish I could say that I'm sorry, but I'm not.