There's a famous quote that we often repeat: Blood is thicker water. I can't help but to wonder if this is actually true. As A young African American female, I was taught to not only respect family, but to value and honor family. Like a Blood to his set and a Crip to his hood, some would even say this is cult mentality! Growing up, the meaning of family was instilled not only into me but into my sister, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. For a very long time, family was all I knew growing up until I got out into the world.
My senior year of high school my mother put me out of our home. Most people would say "oh it'll pass, just give it time." As time would go on, I found myself sleeping in my car or even at one friend's house on Wednesday thinking of the next place I would lay my head that following weekend. Throughout this whole escapade, my mother was fully aware of my everyday struggles just to do normal eighteen year old girl stuff. Not only did my mother know, my Grandparents knew and even an aunt or two. No one in my "family" took the initiative to invite me into their home with love, and guidance; so, I was left to fin for myself. I had to sink or swim! 
Most people would think that would have left me with a sour taste in my mouth right? Wrong. It left me with a void and, well, pretty damn clueless. Not because I got kicked out or because nobody would call me just see how my day went or if I had eaten that day, and got a peaceful nights rest without wondering if I was going to put my feet or head on the dashboard tonight. I was lost because I was meeting people who seemed to care more about me than my own "family". Sometimes these people weren't even my friends; just innocent bystanders watching from the outside looking in to what looked like a train wreck. Although I was homeless and struggling with only a car to my name and working at Popeye's, I knew no one was going to swoop in with a cape on their back with the big word "FAMILY" posted across their chest to save me from what I was going through. So why was I brought up to value something that didn't even value me? I was confused because I don't understand why I didn't get the family that wakes up every Sunday morning to get ready for church. Or why I found myself dreading Thanksgiving and Christmas in July.
Throughout my whole experience, I realized that family isn't just limited to the people you were born to or grew up with. As one of my good friends would say "you can create a family, no matter where you go. Family should be the people who, when you need help or start to give up on yourself, will be there for you without you having to ask or hit rock bottom." So I went out and created a family. I surrounded myself with people who I know wanted to see me not only prosper in life but be the very best Zana I could be. My family sees greatness in me when I don't even see it in myself sometimes. They truly lift me up. Yes, we go through our ups and downs, but I wouldn't trade them for the world.
