As humans, one of our main goals by nature is to be social and surround ourselves with as many others as possible. We are social beings, and it is a basic need of ours to socialize. With being social comes the anticipation of being liked and accepted. The more people like you, the more they will want to be around you right? This mindset is what drives many social interactions yet also causes much stress and insecurities among many. We all want to be liked, we all want to have a lot of friends. This can be hard for some, especially those who are shy or feel like they don't fit in.
Some of us get lucky and find ourselves in a great friend group that's almost like a family, some of us find ourselves having only a few friends, and then some of us may only have one friend or none. I'm not saying that any of these or more examples are better/worse than the other as some people are perfectly content in all types of social situations.
However, one common trait that almost all people possess is the need for acceptance. We want everyone to like us as it makes us feel wanted and like we're doing something right. However, it is nearly impossible to be liked by everyone, and usually, this is completely out of our control.
There's one life motto that I have lived by all these years: "You can't please everyone." It has taken me some time to finally realize the truth behind this statement; some people just aren't going to like you throughout your life and you can't let it affect or change you. Yes, it's infuriating, but honestly, those people who don't value you aren't even worth having in your life anyways.
Even still, be nice. Always, always be nice.
Kindness does wonder and it makes you the bigger person in the end. I feel that college, in particular, is where you learn to handle these types of situations, especially since you're usually at a school where you go in not knowing anyone and have to completely start fresh.
With this new beginning, it is easy to feel insecure about how others view you. And yes, it is very likely you will come across people who just plain don't like you. It is what it is. Or you'll find that "friends" you thought you had will start to drift away from you randomly and eventually act like they don't even know you. (It's happened to me! But it only made me appreciate my real friends.)
You know what I have to say to those types of people? Good riddance! You clearly don't deserve to be in my life anyway. That's the mindset you need to have.
What can be hard is if it's a "friend" who is acting this way. You literally can go from sharing secrets and makeup to sharing blank stares and silence. It's as if your entire friendship has just been wiped from their memory; all the laughs, the nights out, the emotional support, last minute lunch dates, everything. And you will drive yourself crazy wondering why it happened and what you did wrong, but eventually, you will realize that it's nothing you did at all and that it's their problem.
You are in no way less of a person because one "friend" decided to show their true colors and expose how fake they actually are. But yes, it hurts. Letting go of someone you thought would always be there for you through thick and thin is no easy matter. However, you can take this situation and turn it into something good; a life lesson. You'll learn how to decipher between real and fake friends and how to deal with crappy people. It's life. Plain and simple.
I said it before and I'll say it again to emphasize its importance: always be kind. No matter how angry, confused, or annoyed you are with these types of people, just be kind. It shows your maturity and ability to handle all that life can throw at you. And always remember...
You're perfect the way you are and those who can't see that isn't worth your time anyway. End of story.
