They're going to be people who come across this article and will either assume I'm crazy or they will relate. I'm hoping this will reach out to a lot of people who have the same ability that I do.
My entire life, I've been a sensitive girl, ever since childhood. I could feel people's emotions; whether they were sad, angry, happy or depressed and I would automatically feel that way. When I was about thirteen years old, I would feel these emotions when I wasn't around anyone. At that age, I would spend the majority of my alone time in the cemetery that was across the street from my neighborhood. It comforted me; the silence, the peacefulness. It was just me and these people who have passed on. I remember sitting on the grass, reading my book when at the corner of my eye I see a flash of red and felt another presence. When I turned to look, no one was there. That feeling of someone being next to me was still there, though. I immediately felt sad and I had no reason to. I began to shake, getting extremely scared and bolting it out of the cemetery and back home. It wasn't a long walk from the cemetery to my house but I felt like someone was following me. When I finally walk into my house my mother could tell that something scared me, she asked what was wrong and I told her nothing, and that I was okay.
For years after that, I would keep whatever I felt to myself. There was no way I could bring up to anyone about feeling these spirits that have either come to visit or have no idea that they're dead. In my own house, my grandfather had been gone for over six years and I could still feel his presence and I could smell his scent. My mother would briefly tell me that she would think things and then a few days, a week, even a year what she thought would come true. I remember one summer before we went on vacation in the cape; I could hear my mother downstairs shuffling around the living. I walk down, confused on why she was up so late and when I saw her face she looked absolutely terrified. "What's wrong?" I ask her, sitting down on the floor across from her. She takes in a breath and wraps the blanket around herself. "I had a night terror that your aunt had died from a stroke." My aunt was her older sister; they would have your typical family fights but that never stopped either one of them from loving each other forever. I hug my mother close and tell her that it was only a dream and that my aunt was okay because she would know.
The next day, when we were on the highway down to the cape, my mother's cell phone rang; she told me to answer it because she didn't like talking on the phone while she was driving. It was my cousin who called me. "Hey, can you put your mom on the phone? It's important." I tell my mother it was my cousin and she takes the phone. Suddenly, my mother slams on the breaks and pulls over to the side of the road. She says a few words and hangs up the phone, I look at her with wide eyes, she looks to me. "Am I fucking witch?" She asks me, tears fill up in her eyes. I shrug and ask her what happened. "You're aunt had a minor stroke, she's in the hospital." I had no idea what to say, I was generally freaked out, she had had a dream about my aunt dying of a stroke not even 24 hours ago. That's when I knew that I wasn't the only one with this gift. Feeling this before they happen, dreaming of things before it happens, feeling and hearing people who have died. I had a dream about a funeral and two weeks later my mother died. The funeral home was the same one in my dream. I was so devastated that I didn't want to embrace this gift that I had.
In 2013 was the first time I had an experience with a ghost. My friend's house was built in the 1700s and it was a colonial-style house. Apparently, a young girl was poisoned in that house and her body was found upstairs. My friend desperately needed me to come over because a lot of things were happening that she couldn't explain. I went inside the house and immediately felt a heaviness in my chest. I could barely catch my breath, something besides us was in that house with us. I let myself get vulnerable so I could let whatever ever spirit was in the house with us feed off my energy. They did exactly that, an unseen force yanked down my sweatshirt with such force my entire body moved. I also felt the feeling of someone's hand on my forearm, gripping.
It is said that if you have an anxiety disorder you're more in tune with unexplained occurrences. I was actually told that by the famous medium Maureen Hancock. She signed my book, looks up at my face and says, "You know you're psychic right?" I remember just staring at her like, "uh?" And she continued with saying,"You have something powerful. You struggle with anxiety and depression right? Read the tiny excerpts in my book, it will help you deal with what you feel in a positive way."
I was honestly speechless, how could a woman just flat out and tell me what I was just by looking at me? I started to realize that I needed to not be ashamed of what I felt, or how I felt. It's not easy telling someone that you can feel spirits.
Today, I'm slowly learning how to embrace it more and get more in tune with my ability. If you go through the same thing, just remember this: you're not crazy, you're special.
