Demisexuals: We Are Real And We Are Valid
Start writing a post
Politics and Activism

I Came Out A Bisexual, Then Pansexual, And Finally Panromantic Demisexual, So Let's Talk About It

We're largely ignored both in and out of the LGBTQ+ community, so let's change that.

Wikimedia Commons

Trying to figure out my identity came with many twists and turns.

I graduated high school knowing I was part of the LGBTQ+ community, but I didn't know which letter I fit under.

I thought I was bisexual for the longest time because I liked both boys and girls, but that word just never sat right with me.

When I started college 3 years ago, I told a friend about this. She recognized herself in my story and suggested I look up the word "pansexual".

Immediately, a lightbulb went off. Pansexuality described me down to the last detail!

I was so happy to finally have a solid identity, but it wasn't over yet.

I had to come out 3 different times: the first time as bisexual, the second time as pansexual, and the third (and hopefully final) time as panromantic demisexual.

I adopted the identity of being demisexual fairly recently because I'm still learning a lot of the LGBTQ+ terminology. Nevertheless, this identification also describes me to the last detail.

For those of you who don't know much about this identity, demisexuality is "a sexual orientation in which someone feels sexual attraction only to people with whom they have an emotional bond".

We are considered to be on the asexual spectrum, but we may not identify as such.

Demisexuality can mean different things to different people, but for me, it means that I care nothing for the part if I don't have the heart.

I also don't experience much physical attraction to anyone of any gender. Most people my age go crazy over people they think are "cute" and try to shoot their shot solely based on outer appearance.

There's nothing wrong with that, but that doesn't make sense in my brain.

Out of all the crushes I've ever had in my almost 22 years of life, I can count on 1 hand how many of those were based on physical attraction, and most of those are celebrities.

Nearly all the people I've ever had feelings for were my best friends first and foremost. I could never be romantically attracted to anyone I didn't have an emotional connection with first, and it always has to start with friendship.

Ever since I came out, I had stereotypes thrown at me left and right.

I got told that that's just "having morals" or "resisting temptation".

Sexual orientation is not based on morals, but rather on who you're attracted to. Period,

I'm not "resisting temptation" because, for me, there is none.

It doesn't make me different, broken or any less of a person.

Different doesn't mean less than.

I am who I am, and that's more than good enough.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Golden retriever sat on the sand with ocean in the background
Photo by Justin Aikin on Unsplash

Anyone who knows me knows how much I adore my dog. I am constantly talking about my love for her. I attribute many of my dog's amazing qualities to her breed. She is a purebred Golden Retriever, and because of this I am a self-proclaimed expert on why these are the best pets a family could have. Here are 11 reasons why Goldens are the undisputed best dog breed in the world.

Keep Reading...Show less

Boyfriend's Christmas Wishlist: 23 Best Gift Ideas for Her

Here are the gifts I would like to ask my boyfriend for to make this season unforgettable.

Young woman opening a Christmas gift

Recently, an article on Total Sorority Move called 23 Things My Boyfriend Better Not Get Me For Christmas, was going around on social media. I hope the author of this was kidding or using digital sarcasm, but I am still repulsed and shocked by the lack of appreciation throughout this article. I would like to represent the girlfriends out there who disagree with her standpoint -- the girlfriends who would be more than happy to receive any of these gifts from their boyfriends.

Keep Reading...Show less
Two teenage girls smiling

The 2000s were a time that many young adults today can look back on, joyfully reminisce and somewhat cringe at the trends and the fads that we all used to love and adore. Here's a list of things from the golden 2000s that will have one feeling nostalgic about all of those times.

Keep Reading...Show less
Student Life

7 Types Of Students You Will Meet In College

You wish you could be #5, but you know you're probably a #6.

cool group of lazy college students in class

There are thousands of universities around the world, and each school boasts its own traditions and slogans. Some schools pride themselves on sports, while others emphasize their research facilities. While there is a myriad of differences among each and every school, there will always these seven types of students in class.

Keep Reading...Show less
woman in white tank top and orange jacket holding a bible
Photo by Joel Muniz on Unsplash

Life is hard. There is no surprise there. It’s confusing and scary and hectic, but there are some amazing qualities, too. Sometimes you feel alone and don’t know what to do. School gets in the way of what you want to do or you’re dropping friends you thought you trusted. Everyone has their moments. Everyone has felt in the lowest place and couldn’t find the strength to get back up. But I want to help with that. Here are 10 Bible verses I hope will brighten your day, or at least make you feel stronger and happier.

Keep Reading...Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments