People are at varying stages of independence in college. Some are living and paying for everything themselves, others rely on their parents for everything. I fall somewhere in the middle, which keeps me grateful for my family but with enough knowledge of the real world.

I think independence is often linked to how often you’re in contact with your family as well, and people vary widely there too. One of my friends calls her mother several times a day, another only talks to his parents every few weeks. Again, I fall in the middle.

It takes me about 20 minutes to walk from our main campus to our North campus for my single evening class every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. I choose to walk for the exercise and because there’s a nice view of the Blue Ridge Mountains along the way.

On the walk there I usually call my grandmother. I give her a run down of convocation and how my day has been, what my sister and I have been up to. She loves getting these updates and feeling connected even though she’s states away. I love talking to her, so it’s a win-win.

After class and dinner, I walk back to main campus for work. That’s when I call my mom. She likes knowing what’s going on in my life--how were my classes, what’s the weather like, and I get updates about my family and home church. It helps reassure her that I’m thriving even though I’m hours away and she can’t regularly see me.

However, I sometimes hear negative comments from people about how often I call my family. They want to know why I’m so attached, what’s so important for me to call home about, and why my mother/grandmother needs to know so many details.

I think that’s pretty sad. Hopefully, you have a healthy enough family dynamic that you enjoy talking to your family. If not I hope you have other people in your life to take up that role. The simple answer, though, is that I like calling home. I like laughing with my mom/grandmother over the phone. I like keeping them updated on the latest drama, grades, and general goings-on.

I tell them everything: when and why I fought with my sister, which class is my favorite and which is the hardest, what I did on my date over the weekend. My relationship with them wasn’t always this great, especially in high school. It’s been surprising how the distance has helped our relationship. It makes being home, feel more special, and our conversations carry more meaning than when we were living in the same house.

I like that when I’m actually home they have an understanding of what my semester was like, who my friends are, and what I’ve been up to. They’re some of the most important people in my life, which means they need to know what’s going on in it.

So yes, I call my mom and grandmother FOUR times a week: every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and Saturday or Sunday. It’s not too often, it’s the perfect amount. Being connected and invested in family is so important, and it’s been lost in today’s culture.

If you haven’t called your family in awhile, this is the push you’ve been waiting for. If you have, good for you and keep it up.