It’s about 7:30 in the morning and I just took the first step outside into crisp morning air. The world around has transformed into a winter wonderland, shining with white fluffy snow and vibrant forest greens. I slip on my gloves, flash a smile at a neighbor, and rush out to start my day of unforeseen chaos.
By 8 a.m., I have knuckles the same color as the snow. My breath is frosting against the steering-wheel as lights blink and ring in my face. I just used my 3,500-pound vehicle as a sled and ice-skated clear across the street and into an empty parking lot when braking too sharply down a hill. Now spun around in a completely different direction, and realizing for a scary moment I had no control of my death-machine, I did what any Californian would do: Call Mom and immediately start with “Duuuude…”
Half an hour later and I am too chicken to leave the grocery parking lot. Clutching coffee in one hand and muffin in the other, I sit in my car in awe at the scene around me. I’ve never seen this much snow before. After my impromptu sledding trip, I judged everything around me as a war-zone. There was no way I was going to make it home alive; I’ll just have to stay here and wait for the ice to melt. Winter has come and it already won. I surrender!
But my cat is hungry and life around me hasn’t froze from all responsibilities. I now understand why Southern California is so boring with weather—because if a snow day like this happened (or rain, even), all the locals would be destroyed. We’re bred for sunshine, beaches, and gridlock traffic. Not the elements of Mother Nature. Heck, I don’t even know how to dress properly for this cold yet, let alone survive in it. I’m not in San Diego anymore.
For the rest of that week, I had to learn fast on the safety of winter. Once, I leaped out my car and slipped into a freefall onto my knees. Ice that slippery with a brain this clueless and I’ve earned enough bruises to figure out how to walk semi-normally when encountering the ground. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, find me walking down the street with legs bent and arms out balancing. Californian On Ice: in select theaters near you.
In all seriousness, I am a lot safer after a few slides and falls. I’ve only got my car stuck in snow once and I’m awfully proud of that number, thank you very much. For never experiencing a winter like this before, I think I’m getting by a lot better than I thought I could. And I’m having one hell of a time learning. Ironically enough, I think this is my favorite season now.
