It's been awhile, I admit, but guess what? A year after you all read about my last attempts at being an adult - I'm still up the damn creek with no paddle.
Hell, I don't even have a boat. (Canoe? Kayak? Whatever. That entire euphemism suggests I'd be outside doing something active, and lesssssssssss be honest).
Point being...I'm is adult-ish, but not a full-blown adult. I put my eye brows on, one at a time, just like you!
Guess what? That's honestly okay! I know you're reading this, and you're thinking to yourself, you're saying, "Self...now you went and read all about his adult struggles a year ago, and shit ain't changed! Why should I continue to read this?!"
OKAY CAROL IF YOU CAN READ ANYTHING FOX NEWS PUBLISHES THEN ANOTHER 10 MINUTES ON THIS LIFE CHANGING EPIPHANY WON'T KILL YOU
Okay, so like. . . now what? Well strap in, 'cuz I'm hittin' ya' with all the truth I've done gone and discovered! Honestly, y'all, Adulthood isn't something that can be mastered. At BEST it's a skill that's never fully learned, but just placated to get you from one meal, to the next. Honestly, I don't expect to actually ever know what I'm doing- the point is giving it my best and not having my power disconnected in the process.
But this hasn't been easy, ya' feel? This time last year, I was working 3 jobs, skating by on bills, eating ramen RELIGIOUSLY, and by that, I mean I was prayin' that 32 pack I bought from Dollar Tree (Stop laughing, that's not a joke.) lasted until the next pathetic pay-day. Sha-na-na, won't God do it?! (**PLOT TWIST** NO! HE WON'T!) I had to go many nights with making Heinz 57 meals. . . which is basically where you open your cabinets, pick 3 things and try to make a decent meal out whatcha' got! Have YOU ever tried making a meal from Burger-Buns, week old chicken and some field peas?
Well, I figured it right the hell out, okay? It wasn't no fancy-pants "All-of-Garden" but it kept my stomach from growling and it contributed to the lovely keg I have strapped around my mid-section, so cheers. . . or whatever. See, that's just life, y'all! This isn't the 50s! We're not supposed to have a stable career and 4 kids by the time we're 12 and a half, okay? (And yes, I understand that that was never a thing. I'm over-dramatic, deal with it.) But like, I'm 25. I just found my way into a stable career. Literally, the beginning of January. I'm just getting to the point to where I can actually pay my Wi-Fi, cell phone AND rent remotely on time!
This is the point - we're ever growing. Five months ago, I was waiting tables, working a front desk in a hotel, and pulling side hours in retail and Starbucks. I was waking up at 5 a.m., and getting home at 2 a.m., I couldn't afford my car payment and had it repossessed. I was consistently stressed out, having a minimum of 4-5 panic attacks a week. My (now) fiance and I were arguing almost daily, over stupid things, and I couldn't find a moment to relax and take care of myself.
Flash it forward, I'm stable, I make decent money, I'm able to plan my weekend life with my soon-to-be husband, and I, honest-to-goodness, still have NO heckin' idea if I'm doing anything right.
The entire point to being an adult: Just heckin' go for it, man! You're never going to get it "right"! You may start heading in the right direction, but like, 80-year-olds still have no idea what the hell they're doing.
Just go out and try. Learn to live. Make sure you have fun. Be nice to people, and for the love of heck, pay your damn power bill!
