I recently endured the tough life decision, and somehow entered into to some sort of adulthood I suppose, of trading in my Mustang for a Yaris. Yes, a Toyota Yaris. Let me tell you, this is SOME CAR. You’ve seen the picture above, but do you know the inner workings of this fine machine? Most likely not. This bad boy, Yari as it has come to be known, is about to blow your mind. Here are eight reasons you should trade in whatever car you have and pick yourself up a nice Yaris today.
1. Reason number one, perhaps the most important: home boy gets around 34 miles to the gallon. That’s right. No typos here, my friends - just gas saving.
Also, side note to anyone who reads this and makes the purchase of a Yaris in response, the money saved on gas could be used to add a few flames or racing stripes - this car all but begs for it.
2. Another huge reason to buy this car is the engine power. The sub-compact puts out a sizzling 106 horsepower. Boom.
Oh, what’s that? You didn’t see me drive by? Yeah, most people don’t.
3. The speedometer is conveniently placed in the middle of the dash, providing excellent and ample space for the driver to place the left hand perfectly at noon without fear of the sight of speed being impaired. Ever find yourself riding like a pimp, only to find that you have no idea how fast you’re going because your hand is covering the needle? Not anymore. Just a quick glance to the center of the dash and the deed is done - no hand or wrist movement needed.
This perk also allows for possible passengers in the vehicle to see that edgy five-miles-over action. Reason number three is really a win-win.
4. Bye bye, coppers. The Yaris goes zero to 60 in around 10 seconds, so if you were to get pulled over, it would most likely be for going under the speed limit.. unless you a stone cold killa.
5. Safety. This car does not come standard equipped with cruise control, so the mere thought of falling asleep at the wheel is simply out of the question.
6. Racial diversity. The Toyota Yaris was only available in Japan until 2007, so friendship with just about every race is automatically accomplished by the purchase of one of these speedsters.
7. Space. By this, I mean you won’t have to worry about taking up much road or parking lot space. It’s all good though.
8. Brotherhood. You don’t see too many of these cars out on the roads, so passing a fellow team member really does bring out that exclusivity everyone strives to have. Some may search a lifetime for it and come up short, but not you, my friend. Yaris equals next level, game-seven-World-Series-box-seats, the stuff dreams are made of.
I really do love this car. Please, anyone who reads this, do not assume I'm ungrateful. I'm extremely thankful that I get to own Yari, and that I have a car at all, but I do hope some can find the amusement out of it that I have found.
The search is over and the cat is out of the bag. The lion is ready to pounce.
It’s quite simple.
Buy a Yaris.
