I took a break from writing. It became like a chore to me. I knew I had a choice in the matter, and so I said "no more." It all felt like a simple solution to me but obviously, it wasn't because here I am writing this. I felt like I wasn't able to find joy in what I was doing anymore, but there were a few things I didn't even realize when I made my decision.
First, the reason behind doing what I was doing in the first place had changed over time. Second, there are many things I do in my life that feel like a chore to me that I still continue to do anyways. Why?
I've always loved to write, but it was something I always kept to myself, especially in the beginning. It helped me think through events in my life, express my emotions, and realize my place in the world around me. Deciding to share my writing on a platform was a big step for me, but I figured sharing what you enjoy doing with others is important. Over time, I lost the real reason behind what I was doing. I lost the joy I felt when I chose a topic, wrote a piece I enjoyed and got to share it with the ones I care about the most. I continued writing because I knew I had to... in order to be able to put it on applications as "The Odyssey Internship," just to say I did it for "X amount of time, writing X amount of articles." It quickly became just another item on my checklist.
But there are so many things I do that are like chores to me. I do my homework, I study, and I clean. There's not immediate joy in any of those things, so why do I do them? Because there's joy to be found in anything if we remember the ultimate reason behind what we are doing. I do my homework and study for more than just a check mark. I do these things so that one day I can successfully earn a degree to use towards helping others. I clean so that I have a nice environment to live in and share with others. I write because it helps me express myself, my thoughts, and my opinions on things that others really do care about.
It can be tough adding structure to something that was once only a sporadic hobby, a passion, or a dream, but that additional structure shouldn't take away from the joy I find in writing in the first place. I've realized that the love I have for writing should come first and foremost and guide all else that I do when it comes to it. This goes for so many other things in life as well. I'm so happy to get back to what I've missed instead of just giving it up completely or thinking that it wasn't what made me happy anymore. Instead, I can go into it with a new, correct mindset: that the ultimate reason I write is because I love it and how it makes me feel.
