One day, my brother hitched a ride with the traveling carnival and met a woman about 14 years older. He decided he was going to marry her. Her name was Angela. He was gone for a couple of years, but recently, he started calling mom more frequently and asking for help. He and his wife left the roadshow and were given a camper to live in by Angela's mom. He wanted to come home. We all knew that. When my mom came and told me she was going to move him back here, I snickered, "Whatever makes you happy, Momma." She would not have liked my first response, which was caught by what little filter I do have. Honestly, this made me weary. I have not lived in the same city as him for more than eight years, and this was slightly intentional.

Next thing you know, my grandfather was on his way to go pick them up from North Carolina's beach. My aunt agreed to let them park their camper there if they abided by one rule, "No drugs on my property, at all." My brother tried to prepare for the move by weaning his drug intake down. Angela did not. She had been diagnosed with fibromyalgia as well as an anxiety disorder. She had a prescription for Alprazolam (Xanax) for a long time and was extremely dependent on it. A day or so after getting all settled in, she ended up in the hospital. While she was admitted, a comment was made about how insignificant her life was, and the doctors weren't playing around. They put her on suicide watch for 72 hours and sent her to an addiction and the Highland Rivers mental health facility. When she was released, I offered to pick her up, and that's because no one else was available at that time. I was trying to help my mom. My brother and I made the trek an hour north-west to get her. When she got in the car, she had a lot of excuses as to why she ended up in there, but I'm not stupid. I knew she was withdrawing. Shortly after, my brother was in the same boat. He stumbled into my aunt's house once looking sickly and then stayed in the camper for two days till the symptoms passed. This was not his first roller coaster.

Angela got a job at the local Subway and moved up quickly. She got him a job there, too, and things seemed to be going pretty well for them. The Subway they worked at was right inside of a Walmart, giving them a wider range of people to encounter daily than an average free-standing building would. They were saving money and trying to buy a car. They were bickering about it, constantly. Someone who worked with them was selling a beater for $700. She irrationally bought it before consulting with my brother, and things started to get rocky from here. There was a lot of problems with trying to get the title, and things got heated at one point. There was a good amount of unnecessary stress that came along with it, and even though everything was eventually resolved, the tension never left. They were now arguing about money, love and sobriety. They were not on the same page, and things went downhill pretty fast.

Nine months ago, Angela dropped my brother off at work and went back to the camper. She was supposed to pick him up around midnight, but she never answered her phone or showed up. My brother called our younger sister for a ride because she got off close by around the same time. She dropped him off and left quickly since she wasn't feeling well. I thank God for this because she didn't need to wait around. He got to the camper, and it was locked. He started beating on the door, violently. He pried open the window pane just enough to slide through and find his wife slumped over the table, lifeless. Instantly, he got the Evzio Auto-Injector designed for opioid emergencies and injected her in the leg. He called 911 and began CPR. He was trying to save her, but she had been long gone before he got there. The ambulance arrived and was followed by the cops. Apparently, my brother had a bench warrant for an old traffic violation. She took her last ride in an ambulance to the morgue, and he took another ride in the back of a cop car to a cell. But this time, he was innocent.

At this point, morning had come and our family didn't know much of what happened. I had no idea what was going on until my aunt called me at work. She explained, "Angela is in the hospital, and we do not know if she is alive. The hospital won't release any information because we are not immediate family, and your brother is in jail." I quickly ended the conversation and started piece the parts back together. I was thinking to myself, if the hospital won't even tell you if she there or where she's at, that's a bad sign. I had Angela's sisters on Facebook, so I messaged both of them with my concerns. I finally found their mom and messaged her, "Please call me, it is an emergency." My phone rang shortly after I clicked send. I excused myself from the meeting and took a call I was not prepared to take. Angela's mother introduced herself, and my stomach dropped; they sounded the same on the phone. She confirmed that Angela was deceased, and the coroner called her last night.

I went straight to my boss shaking, "I have to go take care of my family, my brother's wife overdosed last night, and they don't know she died." I ran downstairs to my cousin, "My brother found Angela dead in their camper last night." I left work and called my aunt back to justify her intuition was right. I drove straight to my moms to inform her that she was no longer here with us. I called the jail to make sure they kept a close watch on my brother because he was not in a good place, mentally. When it comes to my family, I go into defense mode and feel I have to protect them. I was honestly relieved because he was in the safest place he could be in, and it confined him long enough to keep him running straight to the source that killed her, heroin.

The EMT told my brother that her eyes were wide open, which meant her heart just stopped. She did not sit there suffering, which brought me some comfort. The mixture of chemicals she put in her body that night did not mix well and overloaded her system. She had been taking way too much Lyrica and even mentioned to him a few day before that if you take enough of them, you could get a little buzz. What she didn't know is that it can also induce suicidal thoughts. They sent her a three months supply of pills a week before this happened, and when I cleaned out the camper, an entire bottle was missing while the second one was opened. On top of Xanax and heroin, I don't see how anyone's body could handle that.

We believed it was an accidental suicide, but she literally took that to the grave. She fulfilled her purpose on this earth but went in such a sad way. She was a great person who just seemed to lose herself along the way to her addiction and was never able to regain back control of her life. We only got a short time with her, but we accepted her into our family and loved her. My brother saw something in this woman, and I know she had a reason for being in his life. She is now his guardian angel, and I would like to think she looks out for him.

As humans, we have to take each day for what it is, and remember, your life is worth it. Do not ever try and make the choice to end it. It is not yours to make. All it takes is that one demon, that one thought, and as quickly as you think it, your life could be gone. Just dismiss it, and don't let it in. You never know what someone is going through so be kind, always. Depression and sadness are silent killers because we get really good at hiding things as we grow up. The happiest looking people are often those who are screaming on the inside for help. Cherish every breath, the only thing truly final death.

And as a final prayer: God, I am giving you my worries. I have done what you have asked of me, and now I am going to honor her life in my own way. I hope he learns something from this, and that he doesn't let her die in vain by continuing to live the way that he is. Angela, will you watch over him? You took such good care of him. I hate that you had to leave behind a son, I know you loved him so dearly. I hope he knows how much you talk about him. I will see you again, one day. Lord, may you wrap my family in your arms of comfort, and let them all know they can lean on your for guidance. Amen.