Dear Brother,

I don't know if you remember me, we were rather young when we saw each other last. I know that I have heard about you as the years have gone by, but I don't know if the same can be said about me. We are separated by only a year in age, but then there was the divorce, and the moves, and the adoption. So we have more going against us as it stands than anything else.

I remember the summer you called. You only talked to mom and said you weren't ready to talk to me or our sister. We gave our numbers freely, hoping to hear from you, only to hear of you from our shared family. I don't know if it is ever good to hear about you, but not from you. I guess it's better than me hearing nothing.

We used to be so close, you and I. We would get into mischief and trouble together, even falling into a twin-like language that only the two of us could understand. I don't remember what meant what anymore, but I do sometimes wonder what it would have transformed into had we had the chance.

I write this letter to you as part of a new year's resolution regarding my own self-growth. I want to make sure I keep focusing on moving forward and not focusing on the past. I don't want to say that I am forgetting about you, or that I've given up on you. I just don't think I can move forward with this weight on my heart.

I suppose what that means is that in the 19 years that we've been separated, I turn 25 this coming summer, I am leaving the ball in your court. I won't be picking it up again, it will stay there until I have reached a point in my life that I can do so again. Or maybe, just maybe by leaving it there this time, will provide you with the chance to wonder about me.

I think about you more often than I should, or so I think. We haven't spoken in nearly two decades, and we haven't seen each other in more than that. So now, I look to you, as a part of my past, but as something that maybe one day I can find more answers than questions, and open ended thoughts.

So long, for now, and I hope that one day I'll find you in more than just my thoughts. I'm sorry I couldn't think of what to tell you, but it is hard to know what to share, and what you would want to know.

Signed,

You Sister, who misses you despite not knowing who you are anymore than you know me.