Trust is a complicated yet very fragile concept. It takes time to develop but only a fraction of a second to destroy. Trust is when you've finally opened up to someone a significant amount. You've become comfortable, and the person you trust has the option to cradle and support you in your state of vulnerability or crush you completely. More often that not, it seems like those closest to you are the ones who take your trust for granted.
Trust is not something to be tossed around; not something to be taken lightly. Your trust doesn't come in an indefinite amount: each time you break it, it may never bounce back to where it was before. Each infraction chips away at its entirety, leaving you feeling disappointed and anxious every time. As these infractions become more frequent, you sadly start to see that disappointment is slowly becoming the norm.
Their words become just words. Their promises become empty. Their explanations become excuses. Everything is questionable: you never really know their true intent because it seems like they say one thing but then do another. The disappointment becomes expected.
And who is there to blame? There's the obvious choice: the person who broke your trust, and then there's you.
You blame yourself for being so overly gracious: giving them so many chances to fix what was broken. Was all that time wasted?
You blame yourself for the false hope, thinking that this time will be different, but, of course, in the end, it is not.
You blame yourself because, in a way, you saw it coming. You saw that each day you were becoming more unhappy but didn't turn back when you had the chance. You waited until it was too late; until it was too painful.
You blame yourself for being naive; turning to forgiveness so often when it may not have been deserved.
You blame yourself because you wanted to trust them so badly. You could see the goodness of their heart, but their actions hadn't quite met that same standard yet.
You blame yourself because, now, you don't know what to think; you don't know what to believe.
"'Sorry' works when a mistake is made but not when trust is broken. So in life, make mistakes but never break trust. Because forgiving is easy, but forgetting and trusting again is sometimes impossible." -Unknown
