I used to think I was being paranoid clutching my keys while walking to my car at night, but you can't ignore the statistics. Nearly one in five women will be raped at some point in their life, according to the Center for Disease Control. Changing that number shouldn't be addressing how well victims successfully evade an attempted assault, but instead addressing the number and frequency of rapists and attempted rapes. My body isn't a game for someone to conquer.

Why do we tell potential victims how to avoid being raped instead of telling potential rapists not to rape? I shouldn't always feel made to act on defense, when society alone should be preventing the offense. When the legal system gives only a slap on the wrist for committing a rape, it's reinforcing the idea that rape is no big deal. It's acting on the same caliber as a marijuana possession or tax evasion, both of which, by the way, have earned people significantly more than six months in jail, the amount of time Stanford rapist, Brock Turner, was given for raping an unconscious girl behind a dumpster.

I have always prided myself on my ability to see stories from multiple sides, however, this can make rape culture even worse. Most people have a hard time believing the "all-American kid" really meant to do what he did and most rapists honestly don't believe they did anything wrong. They chalk it up to "oh, well we were both drunk" or "I was pretty sure she wanted it" and at some point, people begin to feel sympathetic towards the rapist. As the story often goes, he's such a good kid who made a mistake and locking him up will only ruin his bright future. When society doesn't see how wrong sexual assault is, they're more likely to write it off as a mistake and a learning experience opposed to something that has potentially ruined the victim's sense of safety and integrity. It should go without saying that rape is not a victimless crime. The physical and psychological effects can be felt for the rest of the victim's life. They too, were probably a "good kid" with a "bright future," but will likely now have difficulty in working out the attack for years.

Why is it that it's so easy to side with a rapist? How often do we side with a murderer or an abuser? Very rarely. This is because we, as a society, have determined that no matter how agitating a situation has become, resorting to violence or murder is completely unacceptable. Does this mean we have decided that rape is okay? Well, no, not necessarily, but we have decided that sex is okay. Where violence is never, ever okay (minus the realm of self-defense), consensual sex is totally normal. So are the lines blurred a little more? Without the proper education, they can be. There seems to be a large gray area in sexual assault where it should just be black and white. When we skim over education of consent, rapists are given the opportunity to again use the "I didn't know any better" excuse.

We can't allow rape to be a trial-and-error crime. When you get a speeding ticket, its intent is to deter you from speeding again. When you murder someone, you can't just say you really "learned your lesson" and won't do it again. Why? Because when you commit murder someone's life physically ends. When you commit a rape, you can bet your victim will never feel the same again, mentally and emotionally.

So no, I never should have learned to keep my alcohol in check because if I didn't, someone might rape me. I never should have learned wearing something too revealing meant I was "asking for it." I shouldn't have been conditioned to grasp my pepper spray or keys in my hand in case someone lunges out of the bushes at me. I never should have been made to feel weak and scared to walk alone at night.

It's not that these are bad safety tips and that we shouldn't always stay vigilant to dangers. It's that we should be addressing and educating on the reason all of these tips exist in the first place: rape. You see, Brock Turner is part of a much, much bigger problem. Besides the issue of allowing him a "get out of jail free" (aka in six months, or three with good behavior) card, perhaps the most prominent issue is he didn't even realize it was so wrong. Instead, he blamed alcohol for his actions, saying he never wants to drink again. Does alcohol make people do stupid things? Certainly, but how could we possibly let such an awful crime have a scapegoat of alcohol? You can't black out and kill someone or even drive a car and not expect ramifications for your actions. Why should we let rape be any sort of exception?

Now, I'm not naive enough to believe that telling people not to rape others will cause rape to disappear. Criminals are criminals. Murderers will murder and rapists will rape; but with the right education, they won't be able to use the "mistake" excuse because they will know damn well that their actions will land them a life in prison, not a slap on the wrist.