This holiday season, many of will be gathering with friends and family to celebrate. At this time of year, with so many rubbing shoulders with family members who are quite difficult to deal with, it’s important to enter the season with an attitude of peace.

Why does peace matter?

Sometimes I’ve experienced that my family can be verbally combative. Whether we’re talking about politics, sports or religion, we oftentimes come to varying conclusions and have varying beliefs and convictions. While I’ve been blessed with a family that I know loves me and doesn’t intend on walking all over my convictions and experiences, it's inevitable that it will happen. We all have family and friends who needle us, either purposefully or out of ignorance. Christmas is oftentimes just another platform for it to happen. Bringing politics, social issues and controversial subjects up at the dinner table or around the Christmas tree is ultimately divisive and causes defensiveness, for both the speaker and the listener.

So, I encourage you this Christmastime to bring peace to your family gatherings. Not division and resentment, not anger and bitterness but kind and patient peace.

Don’t bring controversial subjects up. Want to bring up the Dakota Access Pipeline? Christmas dinner is probably not the time. Want to discuss Brexit? Not while passing the dinner rolls. Can’t get over that presidential candidate? Not while unwrapping more socks.

Here’s the thing: these political and cultural issues and controversies are not worth being brought up with family as they serve only to divide and create animosity. Whether you’re Left, Right or Center, do not provoke your family members with controversial conversational fodder. These are not your arguments to win or lose.

But another question remains, what about that family member who brings topics up that you disagree with? What about that grandparent or cousin who says something that you disagree with? Again, it’s not your fight to win or lose. There is no obligation on your part to defend your entire belief system at the dinner table. In fact, the best way to represent the authenticity of your beliefs and convictions is to respond peaceably and respectfully.

I have an aunt who is one of my favorite people. We’re both the oldest in our families, and she’s able to speak into my life in a relevant way (as having known me, my parents and my siblings for a very long time). However, we have very different political views. Different to the extremes that sometimes I question whether we live in completely different realities. We agree on the most important things that matter; faith and the values subsequent, but find ourselves on completely different partisan alignments.

Out of love and respect for my aunt, I bring peace to our conversations. I listen to her and respect her convictions, even when I question them and oftentimes disagree with them. In the end, I hope that we can both respect each other and that I may represent my beliefs in a pure and authentic way.

The point is not to become a mouthpiece for my own causes and party but to respectfully represent what I perceive to be truthful in a peaceful way. By being respectful, I represent causes and beliefs in a way that people will listen to.

Bring peace to your family this holiday season. Speak truth, and stand for what you believe in. But do so in a way that allows your family to respect you and your opinions. Bring peace to your family, and in return hopefully you will have a more amicable and enjoyable celebration.