There are a lot of transitions that one goes through when moving from high school to college; more freedom, more responsibility, and more costs, to name a few. But one change that occurs from high school to college, that barely anyone thinks about, is how your friendships will change.
Because like it or not, they will all change in some degree. I think I make a great example of how friendships can change from high school to college, with some of the events and realizations that occurred with me...but mostly, I just like talking about myself. But then again, who doesn't?
Anyways, I had thought that back when the end of my senior year of high school was approaching and I was getting ready to graduate, my group of friends wouldn't change. Sure, I'd have one or two come with me to Fresno State, I'd have one or two that would go to the local community college, and I'd have one that would end up taking a break from it all for a year, but I always though we'd be together. We'd always find a way to hang out, do the things we loved to do...but that didn't pan out of a couple of reasons.
One was, obviously, time restraints; college, whether it was at a state school or a community one, was busy. But another reason, at least for me, was when I found new friends at college. Now, that sounds horrible to say; I'm implying that I found other people who were better than my old friends, and because of that I ditched all of them for the new friends. If life was some cheesy movie, I would quickly realize my mistakes, come crawling back to my old friends begging for forgiveness, all of whom would be more than happy to accept me back in...but life isn't like that.
When I first started to hang out with my new college friends, they all opened my eyes to what the true definition of friendship was. Everyone got along, for the most part, we'd all be interested in each other's day, asking how everyone was, helping each other if we needed it. They were genuinely interested in some of the things I had to say, including my passions, which I talked about for hours on end. Everyone was just...close, in a way. We were all there for each other, and we meant it, something which my old group of high school friends would never do.
The more I hung out with my college friends, the more the rose tinted glasses fell from my face; I was suddenly seeing that the people I once called friends weren't actually friends. Sure, we all had the same interests, all the same hobbies, but there was never the comradery that I felt with my college friends. I was never able to open up to them, talk about my passions, or have them be there for me when I needed them the most, simply because they didn't care.
None of my old friends cared about me...all they cared about was that I was another person to talk to about video games, new tech, and what they saw on Reddit. There was never anything beyond that, no connection, no comradery. And I began to realize that I never knew them like I did with my college friends. I knew their interests, sure, but I never knew their dreams, their passions, their fears, I didn't know anything! All they were to me was what I was to them; a like minded person.
Slowly but surely, I began to see the flaws in them that drove me away from them. Now, that's not to say I was the perfect individual, I had many flaws back in high school, some of which I'm still dealing with now. But I saw that the people I called friends were the kinds of people I didn't want to be associated with anymore. So that's what I did, I ceased all association with them.
Of course, me being as young as I am, I did it very stupidly; I simply stopped talking with all of them. I didn't burn the bridges, I let them fall into disrepair. At first, some of them reached out to contact me, but it was always because they needed someone to play a game with them, or they needed another person for the roleplaying game, it was always if they needed something from me. There was never a, "Hey, I haven't spoken to you in a while! We should go get lunch and catch up!", it was always, "Hey, I need you for this, can you do it?" And often times when I said no, that was the end of the conversation.
Now, in my sophomore year of college, I haven't talked to a single one of them. It's been two years since I last talked with any of them...and I think it was one of the best choices I ever made. I cut people out of my life who didn't have a place there, and replaced them with friendships that I know will last a life time. I've moved on from the whole thing. In a way, I'm kind of depressed about the whole thing; I basically let a part of my life crumble into dust.
But looking forward, I realized that those four years of 'friendship' with those people were nothing, in comparison to what I have now. And besides...those years were just the beginning of what is hopefully going to be a long life for me. Maybe sometime down the line, I'll reconnect with my old high school friends, and we can finally bond together...but until then, I think I'll be content with the amazing friendships I have now.