I Don't Know Who My Groom Is Yet But I Have The Perfect Bridesmaids

I Don't Know Who My Groom Is Yet But I Have The Perfect Bridesmaids

I that makes me feel really special.

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Something I've dreamed about for most of my life is my wedding day. I've made books and had PowerPoints with all my plans since I was like eight. I don't know if I thought I'd be married by now, or anytime soon. But I definitely don't think I had any idea how hard finding a husband would be.

Truthfully, I'm not even close. People I know are married already, or they at least feel like they could be with who they're currently with.

And whether I feel like I'm ready for that part of my life or not, it's not time. I just have to trust the process. I'm not in a place mentally or physically to have a guy at my side. I've got a few more trips around the sun I need to make on my own.

But that doesn't mean I'm unhappy with that, because I'm checking boxes off my age-old wedding checklist as I go along. I might have to save the husband best for last. The bride will still be moving forward until the day comes. With her perfect potential bridesmaids in tow.

The friends I have now made my wait that much sweeter. They've shown me what love is like, and through them, I've learned how to love people like family. They've shown me that I can be loved by people who don't have to love me and that that's something I deserve. Even on my roughest days.

My friends have seen every side of me. The goofy side, the side of me running low on patience AND caffeine, and the side that can talk for hours about things no one would ever care about. There have been long nights and early mornings. Stupid fights where I was probably in the wrong. Times I couldn't stop laughing and times where I've ugly-cried for hours. There's been distance and probably too much time being too close to one another.

Through it all, they've still chosen to stick around, proving that people do.

They are why, when the time comes, I'll do a great job at holding someone's heart. And why I'll be extra selective when picking the person who I want holding mine. They were the people who took care of me and gave me love and attention. .

I know how lucky I am and would never take it for granted. I know some people find their husbands first and then don't think they need to perfect set of friends to be bridesmaids. So they'll shove some cousins in ugly dresses and call it a day. But those bridesmaids are essential. They're the ones who will literally be on your side at the wedding, and then through every little, metaphorical thing after that.

And that's how I know the friends I've so thoughtfully picked will one day be my bridesmaids. I won't be more confident with any decision I make until I say "I do."

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I'm The Girl Without A 'Friend Group'

And here's why I'm OK with it

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Little things remind me all the time.

For example, I'll be sitting in the lounge with the people on my floor, just talking about how everyone's days went. Someone will turn to someone else and ask something along the lines of, "When are we going to so-and-so's place tonight?" Sometimes it'll even be, "Are you ready to go to so-and-so's place now? Okay, we'll see you later, Taylor!"

It's little things like that, little things that remind me I don't have a "friend group." And it's been like that forever. I don't have the same people to keep me company 24 hours of the day, the same people to do absolutely everything with, and the same people to cling to like glue. I don't have a whole cast of characters to entertain me and care for me and support me. Sometimes, especially when it feels obvious to me, not having a "friend group" makes me feel like a waste of space. If I don't have more friends than I can count, what's the point in trying to make friends at all?

I can tell you that there is a point. As a matter of fact, just because I don't have a close-knit clique doesn't mean I don't have any friends. The friends I have come from all different walks of life, some are from my town back home and some are from across the country. I've known some of my friends for years, and others I've only known for a few months. It doesn't really matter where they come from, though. What matters is that the friends I have all entertain me, care for me, and support me. Just because I'm not in that "friend group" with all of them together doesn't mean that we can't be friends to each other.

Still, I hate avoiding sticking myself in a box, and I'm not afraid to seek out friendships. I've noticed that a lot of the people I see who consider themselves to be in a "friend group" don't really venture outside the pack very often. I've never had a pack to venture outside of, so I don't mind reaching out to new people whenever.

I'm not going to lie, when I hear people talking about all the fun they're going to have with their "friend group" over the weekend, part of me wishes I could be included in something like that. I do sometimes want to have the personality type that allows me to mesh perfectly into a clique. I couldn't tell you what it is about me, but there is some part of me that just happens to function better one-on-one with people.

I hated it all my life up until very recently, and that's because I've finally learned that not having a "friend group" is never going to be the same as not having friends.

SEE ALSO: To The Girls Who Float Between Friend Groups

Cover Image Credit: wordpress.com

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My Friends Are Getting Engaged And I Am Nowhere Near Ready To Attend Their Weddings

I hear wedding bells and I want to cry.

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These are people I played with in elementary school, cheered beside in middle school, and had homeroom with in high school. I have not seen these people since our high school graduation a few years ago. However, I have stayed up to date on their personal lives through social media. My Facebook and Instagram are FILLED with people getting engaged. I don't know how to handle it. They are so young, happy, in love, and look fantastic. But I am not ready to attend these weddings and here are some reasons why:

1. I am going to cry like a little baby at the ceremony. 

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Come on! Imagine seeing your third-grade best friend walking down the aisle in a white gown! We used to plan and say what we wanted our own weddings to look like, and now it is actually happening.

2. We aren't old enough to get drunk at the reception.

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Some of us attending the wedding are not yet 21 and have to either beg the groom's uncle for a beer or sneak the future mother-in-law's glass of wine once she is drunk after the toasts. What am I going to toast you with? Ginger Ale?

3. I'm broke and the wedding gift will probably be what you didn't want.

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Here ya go. I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you later.

4. I don't want to loose a good friend.

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You're getting married and moving away and I may never seen you again. Not fair!

5. You're marrying because you are in love.

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You are going to have the best time being in love and starting a new family.

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