5 Breakup Stages Everyone Deals With

Everyone has experienced a breakup or two in their life. (If you haven’t yet, just wait.) Every breakup looks different—maybe it’s an amicable split, or maybe it’s a screaming match outside of Denny’s at 2 am (no judgement—a variant of this happens to someone we know).

No matter how messy the breakup was, chances are that the mourning process looks somewhat the same for everyone. Maybe not in action, but in general feeling.

1. Sadness

Whether you were the dumper or the dumped, you’re still going to hurt. You did just rip a chunk of yourself out, and it’s only more painful depending on how long you were with your partner. This is the period where you cry a copious amount, eat your weight in your comfort food, and just live in sweatpants. It’s natural.

2. Anger

Ah yes: the stage where all the anger and resentments that you let go of in the relationship comes back. Oftentimes, it’s to console yourself (“He didn’t put the toilet seat down ever anyways!” and the like). Still, you’re ready to fight anyone and everyone. On the bright side, this is where you get the motivation to improve yourself/enjoy yourself, so that’s a nice perk! Again, it’s natural.

3. Denial

Or return of the crying, as I call it. This is when you start missing the routine you had with your ex-bae, for better or for worse. You miss how they texted you each morning, how they were kind of adorable when they cuddled you, and everything in between. However, this is also the stage where you’re forgetting why you broke up in the first place. Delete everything now or risk further heartache.

4. Bargaining

As long as you’re not trying to get your ex to take you back (which is essentially point 3.5 on this list), any bargaining right now is a positive thing. Maybe you’re striking a deal with your best friend that you’ll text them instead of your ex. Maybe you’re promising yourself a spa day if you make it two weeks without thinking about your ex. This is the stage that is focused on getting better and improving yourself.

5. Acceptance

You did it! You may still hurt from time to time, but that’s just life. You’ve been through hell and back, and honestly, you’ve managed to do the impossible: being okay by yourself again. We’re all proud of you. Go forth and enjoy single life!