Dear Nicholas,
I wanted to start this by saying I promise it was never you, it’s me.
I was always the lucky one after meeting you, because the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people. You have always spoken to me with such an understanding of how I dream to be treated and respected, in such a way that what I’m about to do makes me want to keep the words from slipping off my tongue.
We’ve been through a lot together, and for that, I must thank you in each and every way possible. I had always thought to myself I would never meet a man so incredible such as you, a man so compassionate. As you have said to me as if it was our last song, “you can’t live your life for other people. You’ve got to do what’s right for you, even if it hurts some people you love” and my dear, I must do exactly that. After crying multiple tears for you and your moving words, I must do what is best for myself.
We have been through a lot together. I mean, from 1999 when I was first introduced to you like a message in a bottle, and until now, you have never failed to impress me...and that was my choice to allow you to do so. Nicholas, you are what every man should aspire to be.
You are my safe haven. Every couple needs to argue now and then. I get it. Just to prove that the relationship is strong enough to survive. Long-term relationships, the ones that matter most, are all about weathering the peaks and the valleys. But, I just need time.
For my own sake, I must take a step back. A wise man once told me that nothing worthwhile is ever easy, and I must remember that. Yes, babe, those were your words. You have managed to make me feel every single feeling a woman could ever want. You have been my go-to guy for everything, from being sad to being the happiest girl in the world. Throughout this relationship, I finally understand what true love is…Love means you care for another person’s happiness more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face might be. Dear Nicholas, it’s ready to turn over a new leaf… I’m sorry.
I have run out of pages in my notebook to go on and on about you and our adventures together. We fell in love, despite our differences. Once we did, something rare and beautiful was created. For me, love like that has only happened once, and that’s why every minute we spent together has been seared in my memory. I’ll never forget a single moment of it. As I grow older and more mature, I must lose my notebook and focus on things that really matter, like a job. You are a pleasurable past time, but that is all we can be from now on.
Dear Nicholas,
It is possible to go on, no matter how impossible it seems. In time your grief will lessen. It may not go away completely, but after a while it won’t be so overwhelming. I’ll always be here for you Nicky, regardless of our status. You are my number one man, and I wish many other men could be like you…trust me.
As you know how much I love my daily walks, the one I took today was definitely a walk to remember. Today I was given the chance to really listen to what my heart was telling me, and that I must share with you: Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous. Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish. It does not take offense and is not resentful. Love takes no pleasure in other people’s sins, but delights in the truth. It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope and to endure whatever comes.
Thank you, Nicholas, for teaching me all these things. You saved my life. You taught me everything, about life, hope and the long journey ahead. I’ll always miss you. I must move on with my life. One thing that will always be true is our love is like the wind, you can’t see it, but you can feel it.
