I Ditched My Toxic Relationship With The Scale And It Has Been Liberating

I Ditched My Toxic Relationship With The Scale And It Has Been Liberating

Say goodbye to this toxic relationship.


If you struggle with your body image as I do, then you understand having a complex and complicated relationship with the scale.

For my whole life, I've determined my self-confidence on what number popped up on the screen, whether I was stepping on an old, plastic scale from 1970 or a modern, digital glass model from Bed, Bath & Beyond. I remember running a lot the summer between elementary and middle school, and I lost 10 pounds. I was 11 years old, and I was already proud of my weight loss.

And don't get me wrong, losing weight is great if you need to lose weight. If your doctor recommends weight loss, and you get your body back to a healthy weight, that is amazing. But in the grand scheme of life, when you're at the proper weight for your age and height, three to sevens pounds shouldn't be the determining factor on whether or not you feel good about yourself for the rest of the day.

About a year ago, I began really struggling with my hormones. I've struggled with my hormones since I was about 14-years-old, but this last year was one of the most difficult times with my hormones.

I had never felt worse in my entire life. I gained a lot of weight, and I felt super bloated. I had heartburn for three months straight no matter what I ate or what activities I did. Working out was hard; my limbs felt like lead and I would become insanely drained afterward. I was tired all the time, completely unable to motivate myself to do anything, but when night came, I couldn't sleep.

I felt anxious a lot, but also mildly depressed. Nothing really felt like it even mattered or was even worth doing, and that kind of mentality felt endless. I didn't find enjoyment in any activity.

I remember thinking all of the things I once really liked doing, I no longer cared about. My sorority, my job, even going out with my friends, which was always something I loved, felt like a major disappointment.

It was like I was watching life happen around me, but I wasn't actually there living it.

The only time I truly remember feeling my brain make the proper amount or cortisol and serotonin was when I was laying in my bed, watching "Friends" and eating semi-sweet chocolate chips by the bag. That was the only time I really felt satisfied, happy and calm.

So it was a rough few months, and my physique showed it.

As time went on, I was able to slowly work my way out of the pit of hormonal struggle. Although my hormones aren't still a walk in the park, I definitely manage this annoyance a lot better. The one thing I really couldn't figure out how to improve on, though, was my weight.

My weight didn't decrease, and I struggled to figure out how to fix it. When it felt like I was making progress, it didn't show on the scale at all, and it would discourage me. And little slip-ups in my routines would immediately show on the scale, and it would discourage me again. I would weigh myself at least twice every day, and for months I saw no improvements. No matter what I tried to tell myself, I couldn't muster up enough motivation to really set myself back on track health-wise.

And then I decided to ditch the scale.

I had become addicted to stepping on the scale, and I was basing all of my confidence on what it was telling me. If it didn't say what I wanted it to say, I would ditch my routine completely and lapse back into unhealthy habits. And I let it make me feel bad about myself.

It was so hard to quiet all the negative thoughts about myself when the scale wasn't saying what I wanted it to. Finally stepping back from the scale was honestly the best thing I could've done for my health goals.

I stopped worrying about an arbitrary goal that didn't show me real, genuine progress.

Does a scale tell you if you PRed at the gym that day? Does a scale tell you that you finish a 5K for the first time? Does a scale tell you your body is full of nutrients and minerals? Does it tell you how much sleep you're getting at night? How much energy you have during the day? And mostly, does it tell you how good you feel about yourself?

Absolutely not.

It's been almost a month since I've stepped on a scale, and I've never been more on track with my health. Going to the gym feels like something I can enjoy. Eating fruits, vegetables and protein is just me keeping a balanced diet, not me dieting to lose weight. Removing the "weight loss" pressure from my fitness goals gave me the freedom to be healthy and fit for myself, and not for some image I'm trying to keep up.

Watching my body become fitter, stronger, and feeling it become more reliable and nourished, is so much better than any number I've ever seen on a scale.

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50 Things To Be Happy About

It's the little things in life.

It is always easier to pick out the negatives in life. We tend to dwell on them and drown out the happy moments. I asked a friend to tell me something that made them happy. They sarcastically laughed at my question then thought about it for a minute. Nothing. But they could easily come up with things that made them unhappy. Then I read them my list, and they were smiling and laughing in agreement the whole time. There are so many more things to be happy and laugh about than we realize. After all- it's the little things in life that can mean the most! Here are 50 things that make me happy. What are your 50?

  1. The first warm day of the year
  2. Laughing so hard your abs ache
  3. Freshly washed sheets
  4. Looking through old pictures
  5. The smell of a coffee shop
  6. Eating cookie dough
  7. Reading a bible verse that perfectly fits your current situation
  8. Seeing someone open a gift you got them
  9. Eating birthday cake
  10. A shower after a long day
  11. Marking something off your to-do list
  12. Drinking ice cold water on a really hot day
  13. Dressing up for no reason
  14. Breakfast food
  15. Being able to lay in bed in the morning
  16. Finding something you love at the store
  17. And it’s on sale
  18. Cute elderly couples
  19. When a stranger compliments you
  20. Getting butterflies in your stomach
  21. Taking a nap
  22. Cooking something delicious
  23. Being lost for words
  24. Receiving a birthday card in the mail
  25. And there's money in it
  26. Finally cleaning your room
  27. Realizing how fortunate you are
  28. Waking up from a nightmare and realizing it wasn't real
  29. Fresh fruit
  30. Walking barefoot in the grass
  31. Singing along to a song in the car
  32. Sunrises
  33. Sunsets
  34. Freshly baked cookies with a glass of milk
  35. Summertime cookouts
  36. Feeling pretty
  37. Looking forward to something
  38. Lemonade
  39. Comfortable silences
  40. Waking up in the middle of the night and realizing you have more time to sleep
  41. Surviving another school year
  42. The cold side of the pillow
  43. The smell of popcorn
  44. Remembering something funny that happened
  45. Laughing to yourself about it
  46. Feeling weird about laughing to yourself
  47. Printed photographs
  48. Wearing a new outfit
  49. The sound of an ice cream truck
  50. Feeling confident
Cover Image Credit: Tumblr

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Poetry On Odyssey: Some Days

A poem that reminds you that you're not alone.


Some days,

You dread the sound of your alarm. You snooze and snooze and snooze and snooze.

When you finally pull yourself out of bed, pressed time forces you to throw on stained sweats

you find yourself chugging a cup of coffee.

You sit on the couch and contemplate calling out of work

You caught the stomach bug,

Or perhaps the flu,

Maybe you broke your collar bone

Or need a new phone

The endless list of excuses repeats through your head as you sit on the couch, wishing you were still in bed.

It takes every ounce

Every breath

Every fiber of your being to pull yourself off the couch

And into the car

And into the building where you work

Some days,

This is just how it goes

You are not alone.

Some days,

You awake to the beautiful sound of birds

Chirping outside your window

The sun sneaks its way into your room

A smile creeps across your face as you realize you are awake to see a new day

You make a good breakfast

You read a few pages of your favorite book

You get your mind ready for the things it will accomplish today

Before you know it you've worked an entire day

Your job is done

As you pull into your driveway,

you take a few breaths

Feeling grateful for another meaningful day.

Some days,

This is how it goes

You are not alone.

Every day is a gamble,

Every day is a gift

The key to getting more good days

Is believing that everyday is one.

You are not alone, this is just how it goes.

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